Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm so glad your night has been better and really really glad we're not perfect because I'd definitely be in the wrong group @utopia 😝😘 support is good 😊💜🤗💐

[utopia]

♥♡♡

[Change123]

Congratulations @utopia you should be so proud of yourself!

I dont know if this helps but I often self medicate with drink but I only usually have maybe 2 a night.  I'm always worried I will be like my father who was a chronic abusive alcoholic so I try to give myself a drink free night every week.  I find with me its more of the habit, I come home have a drink with partner wind down and talk about things.  Its a way for me to unwind but when I want to have a alcohol free night and I really feel like a drink I will make myself a special non alcholic drink like lemon  lime and bitters which often satifies the craving as its mainly habit.  When you really feel alike a drink make yourself a non alcholic cocktail or something.You dont feel so much like youa re depriving yourself and its a "special" drink.

[utopia]

Thanks @Change123

[utopia]

@Shaz51. Decided to post here instead.
Went for a 2 hour drive up and around the mountains today. Last half hour - the urge to drink was definitely present. But when I got home I was 'over' the urge.
Had to make some hard phone calls to workcover & gas & electricity companies when I got home. Ended up in tears - a lot. But no urge then for a drink. But I did take one of my calmer tablets.
Am just about to make that call to the local AA person. This way they will have my details & I'll be more likely to go to the meeting on Monday. And I'm feeling calm enough to make the call now.
Is hubby struggling with not drinking? Or is he wanting to stay home for the next month for other reasons?

[Shaz51]

Is hubby struggling with not drinking?, Hubby really wnts a drink tonight @utopia

Or is he wanting to stay home for the next month for other reasons? -- he just loves being home , he does not like to socialize too much , his sister and brother inlaw was coming yesterday and hubby said he won` be home

so they are coming next week xx

[utopia]

@Shaz51. Sounds like he likes his own place, his house, where he is most comfortable. It may well be that even having his relatives around is too much for him to cope with right now - especially as the urges for a drink are so strong. I'm trying for minimum stress. He may be the same.
Are you able to have an hour here or there to socialise with your friends or family or church?
You need looking after too.
I did call and spoke to a lovely local lady from AA. I have her number in my ph now and I'm definitely going to the Monday meeting

[utopia]

God I want a bourbon really bad right now. <br>My mum just called and said my son doesn't want to come home (yet). It's almost been 3 weeks. I had one quick chat with him on the ph during this time - plus a lengthy text where I appologised and explained he did nothing wrong. That it was me. I'm not ready to have him back full time - it's just too much stress. But to hear he doesn't want to come home for even one night. That's a a sharp tool to the heart. And I don't blame him. But when I don't want to feel - I drink. And I don't want to think about what a shitty mum I've been. <br>I'm going to try and sleep through this.<br>Life shouldn't have to be this hard

[Former-Member]

@utopia I'm feeling for you. Please don't be so hard on yourself right now. Your son is at that really tricky age where he is looking for easy with everything. It will change but might take time. I think mine would have all done the same at that age. I bet your mum is spoiling him rotten which is why he is going for the easy ride. I know it would hurt. It would hurt me too. My S4 didn't visit me much at that age and chose to live with his step father. Some days the guilt was hard. It's not until they're over 18 that they begin to see beyond themselves a bit more. S4 is on his way now but over the last 18 months I was the worst mother because I coulnt be everything to him that he wanted. It will turn again. For now just work on you, it's all you can do. I hope the sleep helps. Sending hugs 🤗💜💐

[utopia]

Day 17. Was sitting outside in my smoko area reading a book. After half an hour I got the urge for a drink. It's where I did most of my drinking.
There's no other spot undercover for my smoko area - so I've decided not to read out there anymore. Just have a cigarette and come back inside.
As soon as I sat on my lounge, I got a call from the AA lady. Perfect timing. The afternoons seem to be the hardest for me, with the urges. The mornings I'm tending the dogs, cleaning the dishes from the night before, etc.
At night, I normally find something on tv to distract me.
In the afternoons I stay home. Try and get shopping etc done before noon. As once the urges hit in the afternoon - I feel it's too dangerous to go out of the house. The bottle shop is within walking distance & at the moment the temptation to just go and buy one can of bourbon (yeah - as if I'd only buy one) - is strongest.
But I'm doing okay. I'm getting through.
Tomorrow will be my first session with GROW -support group for MI. And then tomorrow night my first AA group. So I'm putting steps in place to deal with both.