Seeking mutual support from carers

[CherryValentine]

Hey @Bella1978 Sorry I've been off grid for a few days. Sometimes I get so weird and shut myself off from everything. Last week I was so lonely, this week I have made sure I leave the house and interact with people during the day. I am going to physio for some physical pain i've had. Because I have been managing my own mental health and taking care of my husband, I have neglected to look into my pain properly and now that I have answers I am so relieved. The physio has given me exercises and its helping. I had a motorbike accident 11 years ago and it has caused long term problems. Wish I'd done something sooner.
How are you doing?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bella1978

It is an ongoing concern for many carers when their loved ones are not doing so well. We can feel ever so helpless.

In relation to the pdoc, providing the patient has capacity - no matter how illogical this may seem to us - patient consent for any treatment is required - their body, their decision (exceptions apply for emergency situations)

Treatment orders have strict criteria and indeed should do so. Mental health acts were introduced to protect vulnerable patients from dreadful treatments and conditions. With our present laws, a treatment order can be a life saver but is not always the best course of action and is reserved for patients who are severely unwell - the criteria is set out in the MH Act and I have attached links for carer explanation of WA MH Act for you. Note: The mental health act does not apply to private psychiatrists in private practice.

As mum is actively getting help, she is being monitored and that is a huge step, but the refusal to report increased distress can be frustrating.

It is important to remember MI is cyclical and that every low does not mean things are critical (although after crises we can fear the worst)
- But it is important to keep an eye on things and report changes to pdoc
-be aware that some changes in MI can be due to other medical conditions and will often resolve with treatment if that condition.
- just another thing, as patients age, extra care needs to be taken with psych meds, often pdocs do not explain this to carers and it may or may not be a factor with your mum.

Purposeful caring is one term I like to use, mhr4c.com.au describes this is as when you consciously use active coping strategies and accept the changes that caring has made to your life. You continue to be affected by change, but have the skills to face new situations with confidence.

You have stepped back from ‘over caring’ and are able to focus on your own life and relationships. You can make informed decisions about your caring roles and accept the outcomes of your decisions.

You are able to acknowledge and manage your emotions and can set health boundaries in relationships. Above all, you find meaning in the caring experience.

Emotions commonly experienced include pride (in self); anger; frustration; acceptance; hope; worry; love; grief; and compassion

(The mhr4c.com.au site is terrific, it is a diy course for mental health carers, Qld based but helpful for us in other States)

https://www.carerswa.asn.au/articles/news/mental-health-act-2014-a-summary-for-carers/

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.mhc.wa.gov.au/media/1436/family-...

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.mhc.wa.gov.au/media/1458/mental-...

[Bella1978]

@Former-Member

hey Darcy, thank you so much for your reply *hugs*

and yes, i have started reading up on the mhr4c website - i find the caregiver v caretake roles very interesting and comparing it to how i deal with things. and also thank you for the links.

and yes, as you say mum is actively getting help which is a relief. my thing is that i am trying to pull back a bit. it is hard but something i know i need to do. but when i do see her not report the changes in herself (whether it be denial or she genuinely does not see them) it is heart breaking, and yes as a daughter, i feel useless.

you mentioned that the mental health act does not cover people in the private health system. i didnt know that, i would have thought the one act would cover all mental health patients. so the act wouldnt cover my mum's situation.

she has been up and about a little bit this morning which is nice to see. will have to take the day as it comes.

how are you @Former-Member?

ps - thanks again for taking the time to send me such a detailed message xx

[Bella1978]

@Former-Member

[Bella1978]

@CherryValentine

hey sweets, i noticed you hadnt been online for a few days and im sorry i didnt check in with you. have been consumed with mum of late - surprise surprise lol

yep, i understand that feeling - you try to look after your mental health and be there for someone else, it is natural that something gets left behind, ie physical health - been there done that. but there is only so much we can do at once and we prioritise the best we can, but sometimes to our own detriment. i am so happy that the physio has been able to give you some help, and show you some exercises you can do at home. speaking of exercise, i should get off my toosh and go walkies hehe .. just catching up on messages at the moment 🙂 much more important hehe

wow, motorbike accident luv, did you sustain a lot of injuries?

meh, im ok. finally got mum to psych yesterday (my uncle convinced her to go). he has added an anti psychotic med to take with her anti depressant. he wants to see her in a week and we will take it from there. i am trying to pull back a bit and let her do her own thing. keeping my fingers crossed.

ive gotten back into my mosaics which im pleased about. seeing the crafts thread on the LE forum helped me get my mojo back hehe. ive also put some pics in there and there are some on this thread too if you would like to have a looksies 🙂

what do you have planned for today? its 12.50pm here, meh, would be good if i did something, cant be bothered bleh

xxx

[Former-Member]

@Bella1978

I understand a little where you are coming from as Mr D is not good at reporting his distress either. This talk helped me in relation to knowing how to report things to pdoc.

https://youtu.be/NRO0-JXuFMY


To clarify the Mental Health Act does not cover private outpatients in private psychiatry practices - I did attach link for private hospital guidelines.

[outlander]

wow @Former-Member that is a really brilliant response! i am sure thatll help many readers here too!

[Former-Member]

Thanks @outlander but can't take all the credit, purposeful coping bit was, as attributed, off mhr4c.com.au website.

[outlander]

You still articulted it really well @Former-Member 👍:ok_hand::ok_hand:

[CherryValentine]

@Bella1978 Thanks for getting in touch. Did you end up going for a walk? Yes, its so good to have answers. It was only a minor crash, however my body took a lot of the brunt of a gutter and I'm paying for it now. Its good your mum is getting so much help and that you can pull back a bit, and great that you are getting crafty. I love drawing and painting and making beads with fimo. So theraputic! Today I had a 3 hour wait at the doctors but I didn't mind, I was just happy to be out of the house. I had a stroke recently so am having regular checks and thankfully I am going well. Hope you're having a good night, I just enjoyed the third night in a row cooking a really healthy meal. Trying to start with a balanced eating plan and then hopefully I'll feel more motivated to be more physically active.
xx