Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

@maddison 

Interesting you noticed.  None of my therapists or counsellors have said anything, maybe I should ask at my session tomorrow.  I always think of myself as having big feelings but inadequate expression, so probably the hypersensitive type.

How are you going?

[maddison]

Hey @Appleblossom I'm hanging in there?! How are you going?

Please don't take my comment too seriously. The thought crossed my mind after I began understanding my own diagnosis & then we chatted quite in depth. Who knows?!

I think of myself like that too!

[Appleblossom]

Good to see you around. @maddison 

I found your 'being in touch with feelings language' helpful. Ah life on the spectrum! I actually believe we are all on a spectrum and that the great big Bell curve of normal is simply that, and go into math speak.

There was very little talk in my family of origin, and few family relationships or friendships so most of my language is from books.

Cos there were so many serious diagnoses thrown around in my family I looked through those lenses well before the concept of autism and aspergers was becoming well known.  So for me it Mental illness Lite.  Also the state and medical input in our lives was huge so that coloured it as well as my study, so the lines of public private formal personal are all a little blurred.

Sometimes when we are in "Holding patterns" it can be better not to speak too much as it opens up all those cans of worms.  

Take care of you as well as caring for him, find boundaries in the blur.

[maddison]

Thanks @Appleblossom good to see you too.

Sage advice. I'm shocked & not really, at your perception. 

[Kermit]

@maddison, thanks for your post, I liked the video it brought up a couple of thoughts from me.

I'm autistic and I while I get annoyed at people, I don't think I "hate" them, although I can get very stuck or fixated on situations I think are unjust.

Also, I think the interoception can relate to high or low pain thresholds.

Do you (or anyone else) relate to either of these?

[maddison]

Hi @Kermit 

Thanks for replying😊 I'm happy you liked the video - so did I. I could relate very much to the outdoor scene with the traffic. It was a relief for me to see.

I can get fixated on unjust situations as well. I believe I'm learning, as I get older, how to let things go more easily. Maybe smaller incidents? 

I agree about the interoception & pain thresholds. I was literally having the same thought this morning! I tend to have a slightly higher than normal pain threshold.

I think it could maybe relate to other sensory things like touch. Particular clothing feeling too scratchy, or uncomfortable for example.

The most difficult one for me is sound. 

My dial must be turned quite high!

Noises upset me a lot. I wear earplugs now. It has basically changed my life when I leave the house. Creates distance between me & all the noises, I can focus & remain calm. I can also put them in if my housemate is being noisy!

The right sounds - a beautiful song, or maybe a pretty bird call can be magical😊

I bought the 'loop earplugs' from Amazon. 

I don't know if I've ever 'hated' anyone. 

[Paperdaisy]

I have seen these loop earplugs @maddison and have been wanting to try them. I too am sensitive to noise and find it hard to function where there are a lot of conflicting noises. If more than 1 person talks to me at once i just go what?! 😅

[maddison]

Hi @Paperdaisy they are really good if you have sensitivities. Pricey! Well worth it for me. There is loop quiet 27decibels (for sleep) I can't recall the other style - it is 18 decibels. I can still hear ppl talking to me,  it cuts out harsh noise. I can actually probably hear better with them in.