Lived Experience Forum

[wellwellwellnez]

A while a go a started getting a few suggestions/accusations that I may have autism. Honestly, I can see why people would think that. What I am/have has a different basis but some similar results.

Mines all about attachment dynamic. That's where it begins and ends. Part of that dynamic definitely features tones of virtual narcicism and susceptability to other vulverable narcisists. You've helped me with figuring why I also share some BPD traits, while not really fitting the BPD profile.

I guess all us individuals are individually adapting to the age of loneliness that we're living in. Thank for bringing part of my own condition to my attention.

Weird that I only now learned of the term. Trust the less vulnerable narcicists to steal the attention.

[Appleblossom]

Ha ha ...your sense of humour is still there ...@wellwellwellnez 

Totally behind you on attachment issues being key   Unfortunately there is not enough follow up on long term  effects of disruptions.... area for research .... hint hint .... Sane.

Someone, a pediatric psychiatrist, a good one, once told me that Narcisssm was involved with Schizophrenia.  I found that grist for the mill ... he may have been talking about my parents or husband, did not matter, but was his way of getting to the nub of the problem .... ie self love has to kick in somehow when care givers are inadequate.  Going into the initial narcissistic wound and all that ....

[Kermit]

Thanks, I also found that really useful.

I'd never heard the term vulnerable narcissist but the description does make sense.

[maddison]

Hi Everyone😊

This thread is NEARLY 1 year old. I was looking for another thread & saw this. The heading perked my interest. I was diagnosed autistic this year & I am dealing with people who display narcissistic traits!

I didn't watch the video & my personal perception is that there are no similarities. Polar opposites!

in autism the difficulties around empathy is with recognising feelings in self and others, whereas in narcissism the person recognises their own feelings and is aware of others feelings, but does not care.

this is my exact interpretation too.

If I could define autism - the entire spectrum - I would say that we are incapable of hate. This gives us an entirely different perception of the world.

It is also an alarm bell for bullies. Often we are seen as vulnerable targets. It is not within us to fight back, in the typical sense, with anger or aggression. We do know how to stand up for ourselves, it can look different though.

@Appleblossom I have actually considered before that you might be on the spectrum too! It is nothing obvious - I can see some similarities between us, in our communication techniques, & perceptions of the world. I didn't know your son had been diagnosed.

Recently I learned the term Interoception –

The sense of the internal state of the body. This can be both conscious and unconscious. Introspection – The Examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.

Briefly, it describes how our brains interpret what is going on in our body. Eg. Are we hungry, tired, sad, happy etc.

For most people (neurotypical) these dials are set to an even 5/10.

For people with autism they can be set too high (hypersensitive) or too low (hyposensitive).

We may not realise that our bodies are feeling hunger -except for the rumbling sounds made by our stomach (that is the ability to hear btw, not the ability to feel hunger).

Alternatively, we may feel a piece of classical music like it was a living object, able to be touched. Or feel in awe at the presence of sunlight filtering through a tree.

@Kermit @wellwellwellnez @Clawde @greenpea 

Amazing Things Happen by Alexander Amelines 

☮️

[greenpea]

@maddison   i have two children on the spectrum.  my high functioning autistic son holds grudges and hates people like there is no tomorrow whereas my aspergers daughter doesnt hate anyone go figure

[greenpea]

@maddison   i might also ad that my high functioning son loves his family to bits and is very loyal.

[maddison]

Thanks for replying @greenpea 

I am curious if you really think your son is experiencing hate?

I guess, I mean in the typical sense, that a bully might feel the urge to be mean to another person?

Is it extreme frustrations? That's what I experience anyway.

If you say it is hate, I would be shocked. I am open to being wrong! 

[greenpea]

@maddison   my son is 29 and he holds grudges and hate which date back to when he was in primary school.  i hear about it most days.

[maddison]

Haha ok @greenpea yep maybe I was incorrect on that one!

I still kind of think that people with autism are generally not mean or vengeful - i.e I don't see them as villainous?

I'm finding it difficult to describe.

Perhaps your son would give me a different perception?! I'm sure he is not a villain! He sounds lovely & warm to his family, maybe a few old grudges.

I could have a very naive perception, interpretation. Admittedly I have not met many people & I am planning to meet more & learn about myself through others if possible. I am 45 now. My diagnosis came as a total shock.....& Then slowly bit by bit - my entire life fell into place. It has been 🤯 !! And I think I might be quite guarded still.

😊 I haven't fully come to terms. Doing lots better now than I was...I guess it's one of those 'better late than never' things.

Thanks for your reply.

[wellwellwellnez]

I was going to say @greenpea , perhaps not so much incapable of hate but like you were saying before @maddison , different obstacles in interpreting/expressing hate and other complex emotions.

I know that kid that roars when emotions ride rough. It's not "typical" but it is classic.

That is an enormously helpful clarification about how being on spectrum can affect internal as well as external cues. It's deep.

Makes me think of the Socrates classic "The unexamined life is not worth living" and that makes me think of examination is an access issue. And that makes me think of Temple Grandin's hug machine. Apparently the classic hug-boxes are still being used in sensory rooms https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2ARrl6nLyY I'm thinking that part of sensory and other therapies is to have a canvas to create emotional language (or something like that).