Running

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

No, a gentle 'I've got you, you're ok now" hug

[Jynx]

One of these @avant-garde 

It's on its way to you. 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

Yeah one of those...

*starts crying quietly*

[Jynx]

@avant-garde *squishes you into hug a lil tighter* 

It's gonna be ok hun. Let it out, I gotchu 💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I wish people understood... there's still much right now going through my head...

• My social worker invalidating me
• Seeing one of my more recent abusers on Saturday
• A friend from church asking me how can church and Christians be triggers

I don't want advice, I don't want to be told what to do or what anyone would have done better. I just want to be heard!

[Jynx]

@avant-garde lack of understanding is such a horribly isolating feeling hey. 

I think people get so uncomfortable with our being open about what has happened to us that they feel the urge to 'fix' us. But like.... we're not broken? Can't you just hear me instead of trying to get me to stop talking about it by pushing me to change myself, just cos you're uncomfortable. 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx like on the radio this morning "do you want me to hear you or help you"

---

Can we perhaps talk about these one at a time to lessen the current mental load?

[Jynx]

@avant-garde seems wise, do you have somewhere you'd like to start? Which one feels like it's most approachable for now? 

I am here till 9pm tonight FYI, but also will be back again this Sat cos I'm helpin out! 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

The first one, my SW invalidating me, it's kind of in the way of dealing with the second one right now...

We kind of started talking about it before...

I do think she has been gaslighting me... it scares me... I don't think she's right in this regard, that he's in any way healthy for me... that I think she's made her decision about me in saying that my trauma brain is overreacting, not entirely... this guy was abusive and controlling and for me, my brain didn't overreact...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde like she's forcing a 'pattern' with you when really the pattern is just... the abuse cycle again. From what you said, the way he spoke to you, the way he used particular words to coerce control, and the very fact that this is STILL lingering in your psyche (if she were right, I think your brain would have come to that same conclusion by now).