Running

[tyme]

Hugs @Appleblossom @avant-garde . Thinking of you both.

[avant-garde]

@Jynx you're not normally on Saturdays

I'm glad that you're here

*bursts into tears*

[Jynx]

Usually every other week @avant-garde but have had a few off lately! 

Oh hello tears, had some of my own today too. Hugs here for ya when you're ready 😊🫂

[avant-garde]

@Jynx are you ok? 

*let's Jynx hug her*

[Jynx]

Yeah I'm ok @avant-garde ty for asking 😊 I have chronic pain and today was one of those days it all just got to me ya know? Had a lil teary, was much needed. 

Yay hugs!! 

And yourself, you going ok today? What's your teary telling you?

[avant-garde]

@Jynx not ok

I blame myself for teaching her...

And it's an anniversary day, 18 little ones, the memories anyway

[Jynx]

@avant-garde oh anniversary day is today? Yes a very not okay day, for sure hun. What kind of Jynx support do you think would be good for you today?

[avant-garde]

@Jynx comfort for the anniversaries 

Validation that I was 14 when I taught her and that I didn't know better, that it's not my fault

*curls up*

[Jynx]

@avant-garde *balls you up into huggley bundle*

The warmth, the care, the time and energy you're taking to honour them? It is REAL. It has physicality. And it is moving from you and out into the universe. Those tiny lost souls, so precious that they are - are themselves re-merged with the oneness of God. So the energy you put out - it is felt. It is real and it is being given back to the earth, and being shared with them still. You can still share your love with them, in a way. I think that is so so special 💜

And yeah 100%, human brains are evolved specifically to 'inherit' the ideologies of our primary caregivers. We are sponges! Just absorb everything we're steeped in. Not only that, but deference to authority figures is an essential survival trait. They had power over you, and your ONLY option was to adhere, or your own life may have been forfeit. You literally did not have a choice darling.

What matters is how you move through it all now - the very fact that you are having such a visceral response, is to me, the greatest indicator of your soul's quality - abusers and perpetrators don't torture themselves with the moral implications of their actions in that way. 

More hugs. In fact they're just coming atcha in a torrent hehehe 🫂🫂🫂

[avant-garde]

*curls up crying in @Jynx's arms*

I'm glad you're here, I don't understand why I get along so well with you but I'm ok with it.

Ok, funny and totally non-christian my church would seriously disapprove thing. 

One of my favourite places to get playing cards and games stuff is actually a store that is supportive of LGBTQ+ that do a weekly drag queen storytime for kids. 

My case manager is not ignorant of the fact that I'll travel 5 minutes from her office for playing cards but not just for her. She benefits from my collection though! I drive to her this way!