Running

[tyme]

Totally okay. Thanks for sharing @avant-garde 

[rav3n]

hey @avant-garde i'm going okay, just surviving the heat and sweating from every pore in my body 😅

how are you going? 

[avant-garde]

@rav3n I'm tired and warm, taking it easy tonight

[rav3n]

@avant-garde glad your taking it easy, was it a busy morning for you? do you much planned for the weekend?

[avant-garde]

@rav3n entire day was crazy busy

Weekend is my usual, washing routine tomorrow and church on Sunday

How about you?

[rav3n]

@avant-garde sounds like a pretty nice weekend, hopefully you get some extra rest in to make up for today's busyness. that reminds me, i wanted to ask about your spreadsheet - what do you tend to use it for? i've noticed you mentioning that you enjoy it on a couple occasions, keen to know more about it 😊

have my friend's birthday party tomorrow and then might be going to a water cable park on Sunday. my social battery will most definitely be drained but i'm looking forward to seeing my cousins. 

[avant-garde]

@rav3n which one? 

The one I've probably talked about most on here is the upcoming election one I've started. 

It compares parties, their policies and 10 key issues that I care about and whether their policies or vision are in line with mine or not. I then put the parties in order of how many boxes they ticked basically and then vote based on that. 

Other spreadsheets I have are tv shows and seasons I've seen, Bible plans and jigsaw puzzles I want

[rav3n]

that's super cool! are you an excel wizz? i'm terrible at remembering all the shortcuts and codes.

gosh i just realised the time!! i think i'll have to follow up on this next week because i wanna know more about your tv shows spreadsheet hehe @avant-garde good night and take care 💙

[avant-garde]

*inwardly starts freaking out*

How can I do it? Not to the perpetrators but to the rest of the people I knew back then? That I was stupid enough to care about? 

I hear myself saying that they didn't help me get out, they didn't say anything, they may not have done it but they didn't help stop it. 

The others, the others like me, their names, I don't know if they're ready for what's coming, they're going to hate me. 

They're not going to hate you, they may not say anything but this may be the encouragement they need to say something, to remember themselves, they are no threat to you. 

But I taught her, I taught her! 

You didn't know any better! You thought it was normal! You believed it was normal and that's not your fault! You are not to blame here! You didn't know different, you were a child, you're not responsible for what they taught you, you did what you thought was right, you are not to blame. They are. 

------------------------

I need to do this, I need to help the ones that came after me, I need to speak up, I need closure. They had this coming for not saying anything to help me get out. They are complicit. Someone has to be first, I can do this. I'll be ok. I'm doing the right thing.

@Jynx 

[Appleblossom]

@avant-garde 

Your experiences and the challenges in speaking out are not easy, but it feels as if it could be both cathartic and meaningful. Others will not ever have walked in your shoes, so in the end, it is your decision. I certainly understand being conflicted in my inner thoughts. I see it as a sign of the level of complexity you and I have been dealing with. 

sending you gentle whispers of courage in your task.

About @tyme s brief post about Redress. I didn’t immediately respond as it just brought up too much inside and I couldn’t. I will tag her on “my” Fragile thread and discuss it later. 

I have also felt very disturbed when my thoughts and stories are on a sensitive thread, and the conversation gets derailed or sidetracked and lots of others change topic or make it jokey when I am sad. Sometimes people aren’t even aware. 

Ach! Human communication is tricky and complex but I wish you the best in your endeavours. They are significant. I love your spreadsheets and hope we all come through.

take care 

apple