Struggling: TW suicide

[Paperdaisy]

Overthinking and ruminating is something I'm all too familiar with @creative_writer I wish I had a strategy, like I could put it in a box or something but I find I just have to go through it. It's like a bear hunt haha 'can't go over it, can't go under it, have to go through it!' 😅 It's exhausting isn't it!

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy I’m panicking so much. I want to curl inside my bed. It didn’t happen. Tell me the trauma didn’t happen. That it’s not as bad as it seems. That I’ll wake up happy, content. That I was never depressed. That I was never hurt 😭

[Paperdaisy]

I'm sorry @creative_writer that sounds really painful. Is there anything that helps? Do you have people around you tonight? 

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy all I can do is self care- relaxation and distraction stuff. I have family around but can’t talk to them.

[Paperdaisy]

It can be difficult to talk to people close to us. Would it be helpful to contact a crisis line tonight or the Sane counsellors? @creative_writer  Sitting with you 💝

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy ❤️. I could consider contacting a service. I feel pretty frustrated with myself, I keep having to contact helplines.

[Paperdaisy]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to keep yourself safe @creative_writer 💝

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy I think I will sleep.

[creative_writer]

I went to sleep and woke up feeling awful. Things have settled a bit , still feeling awful. Went for voting and worked on my assignment. Gotta try to look okay since it’s my sister’s birthday too. It’s hard feeling like you don’t make much difference in the world, and that you would be forgotten once you leave.

[creative_writer]

Am I replaceable? Why do I feel like I am insignificant? I mean what difference do I even make in others people's lives? I feel so worthless and unlovable. I am sitting on the fence contemplating whether I should let myself fall. Still having a shitty day even after trying to talk to a helpline, though I may be a little better.