Struggling: TW suicide

[Former-Member]

@creative_writer, I hear you. It's so much harder when you feel alone and like no one understands you. What makes you feel connected to the world or yourself?

❤️ 

[creative_writer]

@Former-Membergrounding myself or going outside in nature helps me connect. Obviously it’s not the same as human connection, but can help when I am disassociating.

I think the need of wanting to be held is tricky. I can ask for a hug at home but it’s not the same, I want to be hugged while being emotionally vulnerable and authentic.

❤️

[hanami]

@creative_writer nature is my way of connecting to the world. I like to socialise but I'm not a real hugger. I only hug my immediate family to be honest. I do have four kids though so there's always someone to connect to. I find nature helps me realise how small I am in this world and how my worries may not be as big as I think they are. I remember one morning I went for a really early morning run and I looked up to see this constellation of stars that was amazing. I'd never seen anything like it. It made me realise how tiny we are in this world. Do you have any hobbies that you like to do that keep you feeling motivated? 

❤️

[creative_writer]

@hanami you can’t really replace nature. I think I am more of a hugger with closer people. It’s funny how I consider people close yet feel so distant from them. I just do regular things like writing, watching tv, reading, cooking, going outdoor for walks or home exercises (though haven’t done much of that since my head seems to be heavy every afternoon now. I try to work on my assignments in the morning. Maybe after I’m done with the sem I can try morning walk.

❤️

[hanami]

@creative_writer I hear you when you say you can feel distant from those who are closest. When I have been really down and in a never ending awful place in my head I feel like my own husband is a million miles away. Even though I'm sleeping in the same bed as him and he's telling me how much he loves me. I think I feel that way because his brain works COMPLETELY different to mine. He just gets up, doesn't think too much, and gets on with it. If he's feeling down, I say to him, why don't you go for a walk. He says, yep, that will make me feel better. Then he gets back and he's good as gold! It really makes me laugh as I say to him, gosh I wish it was that easy for me! 

I'm so sorry but I've forgotten what you're studying. Can you remind me? What do you want to do once you're finished? 

❤️

[creative_writer]

@hanami got through today so far safely. Still having urges but settled a bit. Had a shower and texted a friend. I wish it was easy to feel better, but with all the mental health issues, physical pain, and stress in my life it makes it hard.

I’m doing master of social work with the intention to go into mental health ❤️

[hanami]

Well I for one am happy you got through today safely. I am off for now but want to say I look forward to chatting to you next week. I hope you can find some comfort and peace over the weekend. I'm so glad you're staying safe. See you! 

❤️

[creative_writer]

@hanami will catch you next time ❤️.

I have the evening to get through safely. Feels overwhelming, I guess I have to take it a bit at a time.

[Paperdaisy]

I think taking it a bit at a time is a good idea @creative_writer and I'm here tonight if you need anything 💖

[creative_writer]

@Paperdaisy ❤️. I think this overthinking, invalidation of my own emotions is really really a lot of chaos for me too. I am trying to comprehend things but it’s hard. Maybe I am thinking too hard.