Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 Do what you need to, to be ok. Hope you are alright. Thinking of you

[Eden1919]

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday he said i have to see him again today and he gave me some extra meds to take he made me promise to take them. i did take them but i am really scared he is working for the bad people who are watching me and trapped me here and that the meds are going to hurt me. i dont know if i should tell him the stuff i didnt say yesterday because if he is working for them then i cant trust him. plus even if he isnt he wont believe me because they would be in control of him anyway. i am really worried and something bad is going to happen something really bad and i need to get back to the real world soon or my real family is going to get hurt cause the evil people took them. i dont know what to do i shouldnt have taken the meds i have ruined everything this is all my fault now they are going to get hurt because of me i cant trust any of them i want to cry. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Eden1919,

I cant imagine how frightening it must be for you right, to be feeling that you are stuck in a fake world, and that even those who are helping you, like your psychiatrist could be 'working for bad people'. It must be hard to know where to turn right now. We would like to support you if we can. If you would like to talk to someone here at the helpcentre, you can call 1800 18 7263 or jump on webchat if you preffer to type.

[Appleblossom]

@Eden1919I am glad you are still around and posting, seeing your doctor and taking your meds.  Feeling acute fear is so hard that the most important thing is to bring it down to a level that is bearable.

Then it might be possible to work on your issues.

I think people's input here has been good.  I hope it helps you feel less alone and start to collect some tips on how to manage things.

Just a picture of a White Knight for a distraction.

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 Still thinking of you and hoping you are hanging in there we are all here for you if you need to get things out x

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member thanks

I am still not feeling good I have been seeing my psychiatrist a lot but I still feel awful he says we just have to sort out the meds and get the dose right and it should calm things down but I am really scared because I don't know if he is lying to me or not. Well I mean it is hard to explain but well there is this evil spirit that follows me around everywhere and it has been possessing people around me a lot lately and it told me tonight it wants my soul and it want to hurt me and I think it has been possessing my psychiatrist when I go to see him and so the things it is telling me to do are actually bad and I shouldn't do them and I have been feeling weird physically lately and I am pretty sure it is the meds and that they are not really meds and also I just really don't know what to do anymore because if I try and talk to my psychiatrist it won't be my psychiatrist that I am actually talking to it will be the evil spirit so I don't know how to get around this because the spirit follows me everywhere and I can't get rid of it. Please I need some advice what should I do I really am lost at the moment. @Queenie @Former-Member @Appleblossom @anyone else who can think of anything

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Eden1919 Glad you are doing your best to manage life.

Trust is very difficult for me and can happen on levels. People on the forums have talked about Sensitivity and the problems and positives we experience. eg being able to be gentle or empathise with another ... picking up all the bad stuff floating around in the ether.

Good and bad is often spread out between lots of different people and we can pick up and sense it in those around us.

What is truthful and what is fake is similar. A bit here and there and most of us have aspects that are far from perfect.

I am wary of medication but have had to accept it as the best approach to minimise harm. You are right it is not the whole answer. Part of it is to work through things like your Hierarchy of Needs. Food, and shelter and then work from there to social safety.

Take care 

[Eden1919]

@Appleblossom thank you again for replying it means more than I can even explain to feel like even one person is listening. I am trying to just focus on one thing at a time but I am really not coping and I feel I am at my last straw at this point if one more thing falls on top of me I will break. I just can't do it anymore I am trying to hold together on the outside but inside I am crumbling I want to cry and I hate myself so so so much and I really can't take this anymore I am not ok but there is nothing left to do I have tried everything I am at the end I just have to accept it there is nothing more and this is it.

[Eden1919]

I feel really awful right now. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

[Appleblossom]

What things would you want in your life? @Eden1919 Even struggling with mental illness there are achievements possible.  Thinking of you.