Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

I really hope it doesn't come to the point of bursting @Eden1919. I can only imagine how scary life must be for you right now. I'm really worried about you.

[Lemonjuice]

@Eden1919 You must be terrified from this experience. I feel for you and wish I could do more. I don't want to suggest a diagnosis because there are a few things that could be going on. Have they given you a diagnosis? I don't usually give advice like this but in your case, I think I will make an exception. I think it's time that you contacted your psychiatrist or other mental health helpers. You may need to do a physical check, head scans, bloods, etc. Please let us know if you are going to call someone.

[Eden1919]

@Queenie I am trying really hard but i keep having panic attacks and the problem is i keep thinking that i have to hurt other people and myself to get out of this fake world but i dont want to hurt others and i dont know what to do i am really agitated and the ones who watch me have put something in my head and i can feel them putting things in my head and taking things out and it is really uncomfortable and i am scared because if i try and leave and they find out before i make it back to the real world then they will really really hurt me and i am so scared. 

[Eden1919]

@Lemonjuice  I have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder but i really dont think this is the issue this time. i dont know i mean maybe i really dont know i just wnt to hide right now everything is a mess and i am not coping 

[Queenie]

Oh @Eden1919 I wish that there was something we, as a forum, could do for you to help you. Normally I would say to try and reach out to those who can support you in reality, but I know that this is seemingly impossible for you right now. Please know I am listening and I care.

[Lemonjuice]

@Eden1919 How is it different from other times? Has something happened in your life to make it worse or have you been ill, not looking after your health, etc?

[Eden1919]

@Queenie thankyou. @Lemonjuice i cant think of anything i have done differently but i just i dont know how to explain it i just cant get the thoughts to go and i just want to cry. 

[Former-Member]

@Eden1919 It's good you are getting it out.

[Lemonjuice]

@Eden1919 there's no need to be afraid of your thoughts...just observe them and let them pass like the clouds in the sky. It's when we try to reject them or repress them or control them that things become worse for us. But if you can let them come in your mind and let them pass out again, just treat them like they are a curious thing, then you won't become attached to them as much. Crying helps too...gets rid of that pent up energy.

[Appleblossom]

TRUST is a big issue for us all @Eden1919.  Experiencing a sense of unreality is a sign that you have not been able to trust, but it is impportant to be on the look out for reasons to trust as opposed to reasons to doubt.

Feeling vulnerable and watched intensifies our pain. It is difficult to give any words of wisdom without understanding your circumstances as they come off trite .. and meaningless and can also be damaging if not relevant to your circumstances.

I have been offline for a day and half.

Peer support is an important ideal. We all give and take and learn through the mutual sharing.  I spent time in orphanages where I remember a lot of children doing a lot of caring things for each other and taking responsibility for their pleasure and their pain.  We all had experienced many signifcant crises.  But they were different.  No point sending a fire truck out to a flood when they need boats.

Look around on the other threads too .. and experience different ways of feeling and responding to the posts.