Lived Experience Forum

[WIP]

Tough, challenging day today.

Not feeling any difference from the new med.

Trying to be hopeful that I will soon.

But it's a very long waiting game 😢

[Zoe7]

Those new meds can take time to start working @WIP and whilst that doesn't help you right now hopefully in the coming days you will start feeling their effects. In the meantime keep connecting here and using that support to help you get through. Hugs and hugs Hon 

[WIP]

Thanks @Zoe7  ❤️

I know they will take time (it's only been 5 days), I'm just being very impatient. I need to be grateful of no side effects and be patient for them to start kicking in. I was instructed to up the dose this morning, so that may make a difference over the coming days.

Amd we've still got 5 weeks of stage 4 lockdown to go......

[BPDSurvivor]

@WIP ,

My thoughts are with you! You are doing an amazing job by simply soldiering on!

I am in lockdown with you...we're in the same boat. 

Once again, I'll sorry I'm online less often. I'm edging to complete another Join us on our virtual walk around Australia! However, I've got aunty-duties while also juggling work - yes, during lockdown. My sister's next baby doesn't want to wait until after lockdown. I'm excited but anxious at the same time. So, as a permitted worker, it means I have to send the children to daycare in the morning, I work during the day, and then I have to pick the kids up. It's a bit challenging, but that's part and parcel of being an Aunty.

Looking forward to hearing how things progress @WIP !

BPDSurvivor

[Zoe7]

It really is hard the waiting for them to kick in Hon so I understand that inpatience @WIP The no side effects is a huge bonus though - I had side effects of all of mine, even the ones I am on now until my body got used to them. Lockdown is another matter entirely - it must be extra hard for you too with the med changes. I do feel for you but you are still getting up each day and hoping for these meds to help and that is half the battle.

[WIP]

Thanks @BPDSurvivor  , nice to hear from you.

I don't feel like I'm doing an amazing job.  I'm barely hanging on.  I still cry each day and count the hours down as soon as I wake up, as to when I get to go to bed again.  The days are painfully long and lonely.

You are so lucky to be such an involved Aunty.

I miss being and Aunty, I miss my nephew and niece so much it hurts.  If I think about them for too long, I get upset.  My sister moved interstate two and a half years ago, and we don't have much contact at all.  She was fairly distant when in Melbourne, and since being interstate, it's much worse.  I worry so much that my nephew and niece will grow up not knowing who I am.  I'm sure my sister doesn't talk about me to them.

Anyway, just another thing that contributes to my depression significantly.

Enjoy the busyness of running them back and forth from day care and getting to spend so much time with them.  I know it's a juggle with working at the same time, but as you say 'part and parcel of being an Aunty' and I'm sure you are a great Aunty!

Have a nice evening 

[NatureLover]

Hi @WIP , sorry to read that your days feel so endless...I'm wondering how you're doing today? 

[WIP]

Hi @NatureLover 

Thanks for checking in.

I didn't sleep very well last night, so have woken a bit unsettled. The sun is out this morning, so that helps.

How are you going?

You're always checking in on everyone and their forums, I hope you are doing ok yourself ❤️

[WIP]

I am having another of my teary mornings.  I can't put my finger on what is wrong, I just feel sad, flat, hopeless and lonely.

Its going to be another day that's going to feel endless, me just waiting for night time, so I can sleep again. When I'm asleep, I escape reality and don't feel or think anything

I don't know how much longer I can keep going on like this.

I have to be patient to see if this new medication starts working, but that feels like it'll be ages away and I've already had over 4 weeks of excruciating pain trying the wrong type of med.

Being in lockdown makes it worse. I know everyone is struggling in lockdown, but sorry to be selfish, having a MH illness and dealing with lockdown is extra challenging.

Sorry, whinge over. I just wish I could feel better, cause this isn't living - it's just existing.

[NatureLover]

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@WIP wrote:

I  just wish I could feel better, cause this isn't living - it's just existing.

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Am sorry you're feeling so teary, @WIP . It must indeed feel like ages away till your new med will kick in. You can do it - we are here to support and distract you while you wait...

Do you feel up to having a walk this morning while it's sunny? The sun helps your mood, as you said... And I think we are due to have 3 days of rain starting this afternoon.

Yes, I'm doing OK, thanks for your kind words ❤