Lived Experience Forum

[006]

Hello i am 006 i was born into a family with mummy daddy , two older sisters and an identical twin sister. My identical twin and i were both born with a physical disability. and we both acquired  the same movement disorder.in early adulthood .a lifetime of trauma and a huge amount of complicated loss and grief have left me with borderline prrsonality disorder anxiety depression ptsd and ocd .I have not started on the right treatment but will soon be starting on the right treatment. I have had sensitivity to light touch and sound and migraines  pereodically for years.I am very depressed .and anxious i will not go out of my room unless i habsolutely have to. My psychiatristsays iwants to use medication of some sort ,dbt ,and act to treat me. I also am doing several mental health treatment courses thrgp enroled me in run by a major city hospital And gratitude for the past appreciation for the present and hope for the future. I also do a positive treasure hunt thinking  up one positive incident or part of the day called a positive treasure hunt. I am trying to slowly start exercising my upper body To get fit . I cannot move my body below the waist as my legs are paralized. I try to do a pleasurable activity and an activity which gives me a sense of achievement. One mental health professional told me to smile with open arms and say i am loved by ...

. i lived for 12 years independently with my identical twin with drop in support. Iwe used to play wheelchair rugby and wheelchair basketball swim and canoe and I still do drawing and painting and craft and we used to sew our own clothes and even graduated from college.but were unable to hold down a job due to our disabilities although for some time we did do a lot of voluntary work. Has anyone got any of my mental illnesses ? What do you do to self care and get and stay well? What are your interests and hobbies. I was a bookworm when i was a child and we had a household full of pets of many types as dogs mice a bird cats tropical fish a turtle horses a jersey cow.a pet sheep have you traveled in your lifetime? I traveled the world with my family as a child

[Lilaca]

Hi @006 ,

I have come across someone who has a disability since born. Do look up his "So Podcast" series on the web and you'll find his story on the first podcast. Hope you find a kindred spirit in him and his community.

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @006 . It's good you're here, where other people can relate to your MI (mental illnesses). 

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@006 wrote:

a lifetime of trauma and a huge amount of complicated loss and grief have left me with borderline prrsonality disorder anxiety depression ptsd and ocd .

I am very depressed .and anxious i will not go out of my room unless i habsolutely have to.

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I'm sorry to read of all your trauma and illnesses. I'm concerned that you're very depressed in particular. Do you have some crisis line numbers handy? Lifeline is 13 11 14 and the Suicide Call Back Service is 1300 659 467. 

I also have anxiety, depression and OCD. You can type any of these subjects (or any topic) into the search bar above, to search for threads on that topic. A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a member's name in the drop-down box, they'll get a notification that you've replied to them. 

What form does your OCD take?

I hope you will enjoy exploring the forums. 

[006]

I had a look and could not find the person you referred to in your post

[Gwynn]

Hi @006, I have lived with a physical disability since birth, too, although mine is much milder in form than yours. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, and can relate to the ongoing trauma. It sounds like your little ducks are lining up in a row with your efforts to participate in therapies and strategies for your MI and to look after your physical health. I've had some experience with DBT - it's like a bootcamp for your mind. Can you meditate? I used to be unable to do the body scan meditation because my brain would lock into the sensations of my disability within my body and I would have a panic attack, but now I am able to meditate in that way and be accepting of my body and its feelings. I think that's really helping me. Ask around about loving-kindness meditation - it's supposed to be great for pain. Where did you go with your family as a child?

[006]

What is loving kindness meditation i think i would benefit from something like that from 006

[006]

Tw
Thankyou NatureLover for your replyand hints on how to navigate around forum threads my ocd is in the form of ideas or urges i cannot get out of my head i find them hard to ignore but use distraction and keep busy. Nights are hard when activity stops but i have a natural oil diffuser a sensory box which i am yet to start using on a regular basis and hand cream i use music or night time meditations to go to sleep with or the tv down low enough to fool my brain into thinking i have a friend iin the room talking to someone.i also have a large hand knitted bear. Which is made of bobbly wool and os soft and squishy and comforting

[NatureLover]

@006  That's good you use distraction and busyness to deal with your OCD thoughts. My OCD thoughts are to do with germs. 

Music and night time meditations sound good. It sounds like you have a lot in your 'coping toolbox'. Your large knitted bear sounds great too. 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Hello @006  Welcome to the forum. Hope it meets something good for you.  I was told about "metta" or loving kindness by a Buddhist nun and found it helpful to get through a lot of physical and emotional pain. 

At first, it was simple orienting of my mind towards something I felt to be loving and kind, and eventually focussing those thoughts on people in my life and towards myself.  I had done other types of meditation but found this most helpful to get through high trauma.

Good Luck

Apple

[Lilaca]

Hi @006 ,

Please check out here.