Lived Experience Forum

[eth]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope  so sorry to hear about conflict and a total breakdown in effective communication between you.  You amaze me with the way you soldier on through it all.  You have the patience of a saint.  Talking to the kids and not to you is really not acceptable.  Not wishing ill on him, but a diagnosis would at least go some way towards him facing up and dealing with his issues.  Just my opinion, hope you don't mind.  I totally support you with all you have on your plate.  Take care lovely xx

[outlander]

@Faith-and-Hope
He seems to be acting immature in the form of communication. im sorry that he is and that he more then likely doesn't see it that way. Im sure that would make it so tricky and frustrating for you and kids too.
Maybe this scare will help him see there is a problem and that he needs help for it..... but possibly not as the tests come back clear so didn't highlight the issue.
Gentle hugs and ❤💙

[outlander]

being organised sounds like a good idea @eth a presentation on that topic sounds quite tricky esp with the other challenges like low vision people but im sure youll do great and help many too.
recovery atm is going ok, today is seeming a little better so far.

[eth]

Thanks a lot @outlander .  One of the other women is going to meet up with me earlier before the actual session, so we can get clear about who's going to handle which parts.  She will most likely do the self-nurturing and grounding exercise the last 1/2 hr or so.

Glad to her you're feeling in a little less pain at least.  Soup, soup, soup .... if you want some interesting recipes let me know xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @eth @outlander .... a diagnosis would be the beginning of a new round / level of chaos, but his overall health and well-being is dependent on it I think, if he can be reached and if he is then prepared to be “treatment compliant”.  The way things stand at the moment I have no validation within this scenario, other than the truth of the way he is living, which is carefully concealed in some aspects, and supported by societal influences in others.

The mountain was always going to get steeper to climb, and I suspect that some people I have turned to for support are communicating with him around me, perhaps even convinced that I am being delusional ..... which doesn’t wash, because the kids have witnessed the same things I have.  I can’t do much about that either - just hold to the truth and persevere with what I believe is the right thing to do.  

The mountain was was always going to get steeper to climb, and it will all come to light eventually anyway.  That is when it will show up who was enableing, who was supporting, who was playing both sides, who was distancing themselves, etc.

Thanks for listening.  It means the world.

[eth]

I feel for you deeply @Faith-and-Hope  

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @eth 🙏 

[outlander]

sounds like you are both well organised @eth a catch up before hand just to be sure sounds like a great idea!
the pain was easier but its flared off more now since theres tension in the house again.
im trying out a milkshake today and then a soup/puree later tonight if I can stomach it. I may take you up on your recipies soon!

[outlander]

Hearing you @Faith-and-Hope
So so tough and an invalidating environment to be in. I just hope the mountain doesn't get to steep before the light at the end of the tunnel starts to show. i hope those people who you've turned to for support aren't doing what you suspect, that really is so tough. you deserve to have people and supports whom you can trust.
❤❤❤❤

[Appleblossom]

@outlander Good to hear you around the forums and that today is a little better.

Hugs

@Faith-and-Hope Wayward Hubby has been lucky.  Unfortunately a lot of men think it is alright to take wives for granted (that goes the other way as well).  Holding goodwill and being able to function with hostility in the home is so hard, very wearing and demanding a lot of emotional work, being able to shield oneself and step around the traps. Sad for you and sending strength.

It makes me reflective of the changes and demands on family relationships in the modern world.  

All we can do is keep trying.

Hugs

@Meowmy 

Hey Bella. Great to see you too.  We all have a unique story and you are doing well to front up to work in spite of it all.  Paid work is not a thing for me atm, partly because money and effort was being wasted and I gradually let it all go.  I keep making plans and getting involved to the best of my ability and disability.  

Hugs

@eth 

Lovely to read your long post. 

You are very social compared to a few years ago.  I am going to work with "workers" to help engage more as I am tired of putting out energy, others benfitting and being misunderstood and given the flick.  I am sensitive and that should not always be a bad thing.  Seeing it as part of my old sink or swim training from early childhood, whereas working with connections in a gentle way may have a better long term outcome.  We'll see. 

I saw lots of lovely people on the weekend. It helps to remember the positives.  Some of the people in my more conservative circles are thankful of being able to share more of their thoughts about current climates issues with me, as they seemed afraid to be totally honest, or just being socially careful ....

Cheers ALL

@eudemonism @greenpea @TAB @MDT 

and any others following along.

Have as good a day as possible!