Lived Experience Forum

[Meowmy]

@Maggie thanks, Maggie. I am having better day than yesterday. Hope you enjoy the evening. Take care.

[Former-Member]

it is nearly a year

i tried to take my life

i always live in fear

and feel I'm not alive

i wonder how it'd be

if I wasn't here no more

i think I would be free

and no pain to the core

i wonder how it'd be

for the ones I left behind 

I think they would believe

I'd been out of my mind

some would've moved on

some would still be in pain
some would take so long 

and cry forever in the rain

i don't know how I feel

'bout living another year

i think I must believe

one day there'll be no fear

[Meowmy]

@Former-Member @Maggie hey friends, this afternoon,

I read your poem

Knowing myself

Feel this way daily

Then always

Reasons to stay here

Yet I kind of know

The pain will always be here

Because blood and flesh

We are weak inside

There was one love

In my young life

My grandfather

Held me so tight

My parents give me so much grief

My brother gives me more pains

Then there was one cousin

I lost him at thirty seven

To a head trauma that took his life

I hope I get by

Day after day here

Until that moment

I close my eyes in bed

Oh Lord, I finish my duties here

So friends

Hope we make it through together

[Maggie]

@Meowmy 💙💙💙

[Former-Member]

it's peaceful here

at the bottom of the ocean

i hear the air bubbling

i see the sun shimmering

i feel the sand under my feet

i taste the vomit in my mouth

i smell 

nothing 

[Sans911]

Please note to those forum members reading this. These thoughts relate to persons outside the forum, so they are not a reflection of any members here.

People see me, yet I remain invisible. Because they never really see me. The real me. The sad, the lonely, the scared, the angry me. I hold it all inside even when I don't want to anymore. Even when I'm desperate to tell you how sad or mad I am. Even when I can't be safe anymore. I say nothing. Because they never ask. Not once, and definitely not twice. Their own feelings are more important than mine. Their voice is more important than mine. Their pain is more important than mine.

They never ask because I smile, I laugh, I get up & show up each day. And they never ask. They don't ask because they don't see. They don't see because I am invisible.

[Maggie]

@Sans911  💙💙💙🖤🖤🖤

[Meowmy]

I have so much pain

Inside that I can't settle

Then my loved one looking from above

I don't know if I can bear tonight

The heavy screaming ugliness

[BlueBay]

You have no idea what it's been like the past two weeks 

my emotions have been everywhere 

but you haven't even cared enough to call or visit 

you've never cared about me or your grandchildren 

Msybe when I was born 10 weeks prem I shouldn't have lived 

is that what you wanted 

never taken an interest 

it makes me angry 

it hurts 

I never forget our hot water unit broke 

with three children under three and no money to buy I asked you to help

your answer was no 

how could you 

I'll never forget the stupid childish things you did to me 

like leaving your grandsons present at the gate 

couldn't even give it to him in person 

I just don't understand 

I don't get it 

I don't think I can ever forgive you 

today I'm angry 

if it wasn't for dad I wouldn't be talking to you