WayAhead

@avant-garde 

I actually replied to this earlier but i did it on my phone... and I lost it all.  I've just got home and go on the PC and it did recover a whole 3 lines of it...

I feel like anything I can say is insufficient.  I certainly cant even begin to imagine what you've been through.  The only thing I can think of is that you did survive, and survive such horrible and unthinkable things than many other probably wouldn't.  So continue to tap into that and try to use it to heal as much as possible.

All I do know is that it is so difficult to understand how so many of the people you should have been able to trust and rely on have failed you so badly and so completely!  I don't know how any, even slight empathetic, person could read your story and feel an urge to want to help and support you and try to give you that which was so cruelly and systematically denied to you for so long and when you needed it most.  I sincerely hope you can start to find more an more people in your life who can bring that to you.