I understand total despair @eskimos, I have been there so, so, so, so many times and felt so let down by the entire world even doctors (I used to feel angry but I don't anymore, I see how difficult my father was and how limited Psychiatry is with treating his PD, but also with who he was as a person), but at the end of the day there is only a limited amount that an anonymous online forum can do.......it takes years to recover and build supports and some tiny semblance of a safe place to hide and recover in peace. My father had a PD, a more treatment resistant one and more severe, not to diminish your wife's suffering BPD is tough, but there is hope for BPD, I have met people that are in recovery, but it still takes a lot of work and it took them roughly 5 years to get there...... Being a chronic mental illness like all of the others it does take a holistic approach to every aspect of your life just to stay well....its not any '1' thing, but probably about a dozen changes, habits and routines to keep well......but this is up to your wife to implement them. She's a fully grown adult and if she has always made sure that she was in relationship and coupled it will hard, but not impossible. I would engage health professionals in the separation if that is at all possible and her own family if they are still alive or in her life, I don't know where you live or what services there are, but I would tell the local mental health team that you have separated. You've got a lot of health problems of your own that can't be ignored. But I have been at despair and desperation before, its a lonely place, I had no one in my life with similar experiences except my sibs, I hope that that isn't the case for you - Corny
