Hi 👋🏻
This is my second step after what feels like a backslide of mental health and physical health to the “best I have achieved” since being unable to work due to what I prefer to call “interesting set of physical and rare physical illness” which have impacted the treatment of debilitating PTSD, ADHD, and what I experience as a result of my unique combination of medication conditions is resulting social anxiety, agoraphobia, depression and complete isolation and the expected financial and impact to self worth that accompanies.
I live in Australia however my family members are overseas and are not able to support me , even with basic communication. They struggle with the disparity of the younger version of me, with no diagnosed health conditions , highly educated and adventurous who headed off to explore the world vs the same person with medical conditions I already had , just diagnosed and then not comprehending that all the advertised spirit and education in the world cannot fix PTDS and ADHD and the subsequent other impacts to my life.
I am married, and my husband also has mental health issues and over the years this has caused challenges however with some counselling and learning effective communication we are working together as team and it is with his support I have been able to remember that what feels like a return to “complete inability to function” , while can feel very intense, I am grateful for the times when I had supports in place and receive therapy , and therefore am able, with help begin my return from the “void”.
my biggest challenge, is overcoming the mindset that has kept me stuck for the last two years.
An medical emergency occurred with my husband, and at that time , he required acute mental health support and we discovered that there was a huge gap in services
to support me and to maintain the supports I had in place.
I struggle with medical professionals believing me, or refusing medication if I do not do exactly what they say. This has been a big challenge for me as medical files record all the misdiagnosis and remarks notes that now colour my credibility.
it intrigues me how a file that shows clear disagreement amongst the profession as to how to best treat my set of symptoms , finds me being deemed the one with credibility issues🤷‍♀️
furthermore since my husband’s acute incident two years ago (less details best for all) it feels as though my whole support system slowly disappeared as questions around our being together and our lived experience that we do better together and want to be together, falls into the “too hard” bucket .
As I struggle with succinctness, we have been in a fog of cycling mental health issues and financial issues and have no outside support . This week , I am taking the leap of faith that the logical solution I see, which is for us to each independently seek support for ourselves to enable us to seek support for us a couple , will be available if I ask for help and slowly take steps to overcome the physical and emotional consequences of “unable to leave my bed” for long periods of time.
so with hope that today I have taken another step to connect with others , I hope to get to meet some new understanding friends.
