WayAhead

---

@mrkotter wrote:

Now feeling better I want to open up. I'm finding it hard just have such a distorted view on self-image resulting from the illness. I can't reconcile myself with the idea that someone might actually like me. So any signal I do get I discount at the time only to recognise what they were meaning later on, usually at the psychologist's office. 

 

---

Greetings @mrkotter,

Mate I can relate so strongly to what you've shared.  I find in myself that it's so easy to become overwhelmed with everything that's "wrong" with me (even though I try really hard to frame it as "It's not what's wrong, it's just what's so") that I lose any sense of what's "right", or if that even exists.  Why the flip would anyone see anything good in me?

I really wish I had a productive answer, and not just for myself! 😉  I have the feeling that any answer might lie in just trusting people to take care of themselves, and if they seem to show interest even in talking to me, to trust that as a choice they've made.  My tendency is to feel like I must have somehow conned them into seeing me positively, and they'll find out "the truth" all too soon -- because, broadly speaking, that's what has always happened.  And trusting people has become so hard.  But perhaps that's all part of the point @Former-Member made, that it's just what happens in life, MI or not.  If that's true, I frankly wish I'd gotten on a different ride! 😉