Running

[Jynx]

@avant-garde oh you mean like songs? Stuck in brain?

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

No like memories on repeat that I'm finding overwhelming and I need help with

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

TW: sexual abuse

Content/trigger warning

I arrived at my friends place and they were talking about something called "the handmaids tale" a fictional story made into a movie, a story that has strong correlation to my own. 
My friends husband talked about how fertile females were used just for that reason... except that was my reality

If that's too much detail feel free to edit, I trust you

[Jynx]

@avant-garde I can imagine it is incredibly jarring to hear people casually discussing a piece of fiction only to hear it resonating so closely with your own experiences. Did it make for a difficult experience at your friends'? How are you feeling now? 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

My friend knows, her husband doesn't, I hide the true extent of the trigger and the emotions as much as I can to stop others feeling bad. 

She later asked me how I got out and I couldn't tell her but the question alone ignited those memories, that night...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde Do you feel like you wanna keep talking about it hun?

Seems like it's leading you towards the triggered memories rather than away, but it's not up to me to tell you what you're needing, I am just trying to maximise psychological safety... aka protect ya! 

[avant-garde]

I need to feel heard @Jynx, I need someone to hear me and believe me, I write to feel heard, tell me that I matter... that my voice matters...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde It’s such a human experience to want to feel heard, believed and understood. No one wants to feel like they’re alone in what they’ve experienced. And like you're definitely not alone in your experiences, they are just very uncommon. 

You know I found out this quote from the author of that book, the handmaids tale? 

Shared experience can be found in many unexpected places! 

I can imagine this afternoon took a lot out of you, so I hope you are being slow and gentle with yourself hun 💜

[avant-garde]

Hey @rav3n 

[rav3n]

hey @avant-garde just read about your dentist appt, so so glad it went well!!! hopefully it makes future appts with her less daunting.

how's your Friday going?