Running

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

It is heavy, they said all the little bits from over the years that I've given them, that plus the redress caused them to reopen it... that they may have missed something...

I'm not ok, I'm terrified and I hate our judicial system that they basically throw survivors to the slaughter if they get granted a restraining order because it tells them where you are...

[Jynx]

@avant-garde that is so scary hun, and like, ugh you are so right. How can one protect themself if their details are handed over? 

When do you find out what's what? I hope you're not by yourself atm? If you are, is there anyone you can call or reach out to? 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I found out yesterday, right now they're going through everything I've given them, having to go to the physical archives to get my original statement from 2011, when I had just escaped for the first time. 

I'm typically on my own, I'm like gremlin in that regard, except that everyone I ask for help tends to take my resilience and capacity for granted and use it as an excuse to not support me because "she's got this, she's fine". They don't realise quite how big this is or quite how serious what he did is

I reached out to blue know a couple hours ago

[Jynx]

As a not-now thing @avant-garde I'm more than happy to chat to you about like, if you wanna brainstorm some ways to approach those people and try to highlight that 'appearing fine' does not mean 'doesn't need support' - but maybe not a helpful focus whilst your brain is doing backflips eh? 

I'm glad you've chatted to blue knot, I've only ever heard good things about those guys. Did they have any helpful suggestions?

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I just needed to work through the entirety that was yesterday before I could think about this clearly

[Jynx]

Totally @avant-garde and if there's anything still swirling around in your brain space feel free to get it out here. 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

Honestly, it was the phone call...

Content/trigger warning

This mum seemed to be escaping from someone, a man was chasing her on foot as she drove, stopping at the pay phone, she called her mum and said for her to look after her kids... that she can't do this anymore... then sped off

I didn't know what to do, I wanted to help her but I couldn't...

[Jynx]

Oh I'm so sorry @avant-garde that's heavy as. Feeling helpless is soooo awful, and something we're plagued by constantly. But seeing it face to face adds a whole nother layer of distress hey. 

There's some gentle hugs here for ya if you want em 🫂🫂

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

When I first read that my head immediately went "hugs from you are always welcome, you're a safe hugger"

[Jynx]

@avant-garde 🥹

Hun... I can't even begin.... that just hit me soooo warm inside. TY, it means a lot to know that 🥰