Lived Experience Forum

[Leighyu]

Hi @Lostandalone

It sounds like youve been having it rough. I've been there many a time. I've ended up in several jobs that weren't the right fit for me. I can only shed light on what I did.

These jobs caused burn out and the inevitable decline of my mental health. I left after the breaking point. If I could do it differently, I would have left earlier. Jobs, while difficult to come by (particularly in my industry) really are not worth the pain once you reach breaking point. Ive learnt that in life, it's important to know what you don't want to do, as much as knowing what you do want to do. And if it comes to an environment that isn't helping you develop yourself, career wise as well character wise, then the only thing tying you to a job is income. And it's better off gaining that elsewhere with less stress involved.

Although, I know circumstances are hard now with covid 19 and employment. I imagine there has been a sit down with your employer discussing constructive feedback regarding your performance? Is there any way that you can work on these points at all? Perhaps them firing you isn't actually on the table. We all stumble with our work performance and we all can learn and take it as an opportunity for development.

[Lostandalone]

Well I ended up resigning from my job yesterday .... I just couldn't take the stress.. the pressure... the uncertainty any longer 

23 years of dedicated service comes to an end

i thought I would feel better knowing I didn't have to go back there.... thought I might actually sleep .... but alas.... here I am again... awake since 4am..... crying.... jittery.... a mess still 

[jem80]

@Lostandalone 

I'm hearing you there. Let it out. There will be a weight lifted from your shoulders.

It will take time to ease the pain. There is a wave of emotions, tears of sadness, tears of relief, feeling overwhelmed, processing what has happened from that painful time period, anger, frustration.

If you have trouble sleeping, perhaps try and listen to some relaxation music. It doesn't matter if you fall asleep or not, it may help you relax a little.

[NatureLover]

Hi @Lostandalone ...that's a huge step for you, after 23 years - well done. It sounded pretty toxic there for you. 

That's not good that you still can't get any sleep, though. Really hope that things will settle soon for you and you will feel in less of a mess. Take care. 

[Ono]

Hey @Lostandalone , 

You know when you scroll through some times and come across something and are like 'that's how I feel'. 

Change is so hard, even if it's for the best. Add in mental health issues and other life pressures - yeah it's not a good time initially. Hopefully with some time, you can feel a bit better about you decision. I think for me, time seems to help. 

[Lostandalone]

Thank you @Ono 

I have good moments and bad moments.  It is all still very raw... especially when they send you a letter saying that we were going to terminate your employment and will place that in your file

It has definitely knocked my confidence for six.... 

now the fun of finding a new job begins 

[Ono]

@Lostandalone i feel like them sending you that letter is like a school days "I was going to break up with you anyways" response to a playground romance. 

good luck with the Job hunting!