Older Male depression, Any ideas how to how not to handle it?

[Sooth]

Hi, I want to talk straight about  depression. Recently someone who loves me, someone who had severe depression years ago, said "imagine if you were not depressed how much fun you would be". Hey I am an. Aussie male I said nothing but part of me wanted to sob.

[WizardMotor]

Hey I'm an Depressed Older Aussie Male, is there an acronym for this? OMAD, DOMA?

I'm here for the discussion but I didn't quite get the question. How can we help each other?

[Sooth]

Hi,  I thought I would start with a reality check, it mean I'm fair dinkum.

In the same vein I deserved the  comment I mentioned in my first post. I have come out as it were about my depression I have a responsibility to close friends/partners to tell them, to remind them they are with a depressive. 

'Great fun at a party' I hear you say. I assure you it is not maudlin or self pitying.  But speak of the devil as it were and there it is. I have stopped speaking about it to people (who just don't know, how can they) and must continue.

Brother I am grateful for your reply, how do you continue?

[WizardMotor]

I've been pretty open with my mental health struggles to those very close to me, but am still quite guarded to other people. I don't mind talking about, it doesn't make feel awkward or anything but sometimes it's just none of their business, is simply not relevant to the conversation or I may not know them well enough etc.

I think it's great that you can open up about things, communication is important and it helps your loved ones understand you better, and in turn can (hopefully) support you where possible.

[MJG017]

@Sooth @WizardMotor 

Maybe i'm a BDOAM... (bitter depressed old Aussie male) but part of me would have responded with "imagine how supportive you would be if you had an ounce of empathy!"

"How do I continue?"  I never talked to anyone about it, so i feel like I became very good at hiding it and putting on that "happy face" when around other people.  I'm better at opening up now.  Not good, but better.  But I generally only talk about it with people I trust, which isn't many if you don't include here.  It took the last 2 years being the toughest of my life (for health reasons) to pushed me kicking and screaming to be more open though.  But I do feel that it's been such a huge benefit by doing it the past year or so.

[Sooth]

Thanks for the replies, it's part of this time of life to face up to... Here I am talking tough, no, life has faced up to me.

I am getting older now I can't keep running from the black dog.  Without getting too poetic it would seem to me we are two faced, one face to the world the other the black dog. Only those closest to us sense the absence, the subtle detachment and make of it what they will.

I would like to know how people live with this.

[WizardMotor]

@Sooth 

"I would like to know how people live with this"

Well, you just do because the alternative is .... you know ...

It certainly isn't easy, I wish I had the answer. But if I did, I probably wouldn't be here.

All we can do is take it one day at a time, keep fighting ... but know your battles - the things you can control and the things you can't. Ask for help where possible. Look into medication, therapy etc. Try to find some joy in something, anything. Find something creative to do... 3 square meals and exercise every day...I could go on, but look at the end of the day these are all just things to do. 

I don't know if these things help remove the overwhelming weight of a life gone wrong, which is kind of how I feel at the moment.

[Sooth]

Hi @WizardMotor 

I have read your reply, read it a few times, and will read it a few times more. Maybe I have done you a disservice.

For me it is a case of be careful what you wish for. I was looking for someone who knows what I am talking about. You do.

We know that one of the basic sensible strategies along with diet sleep and exercise is to avoid at all costs those things that exacerbate the condition.

And here I am asking you to bring to front of mind .....

Thanks mate, your reply is precious to me.