Lived Experience Forum

[SwearyCyn]

Hi all,

Has anyone been so overcome with anxiety that their throat has become tight and they're terrified to eat for dear of choking??

I was doing OK after my last post - thank you everyone for your support and great tips - and was making progress. I was eating better, getting some exercise in, and most importantly I was getting over my agoraphobia. On Thursday I did the 30 Min bus ride into the city and actually went to an event for an hour. We got home, and I was eating my dinner, and something scratched my throat and BANG!! I haven't been able to eat solid food since then. The thought of it terrifies me, I've been shaking for days. I nibbled in a biscuit this morning and had a full on panic attack.

My anxiety has always been around food. I've always been worried about contaminants. When I was 17 I didn't eat for ages because I was worried something would poison me or there would be glass in it or something. I was eating normally but it's always been in the back of my mind. I'm always extra careful preparing food. (I'm 42 now, it's been years of hell.)

But now I freak out about actually EATING! And forget about swallowing a pill. I'm freaked this will now hang around for the rest of my life. And why did this come on suddenly when I was finally getting somewhere?? Why?!

Has anyone else been through this and how did you get through it? And will it hang around forever??

I'm living on soup and meal replacement shakes, and doing lots of meditation. I'm so overwhelmed.

Thank you for listening xxoo

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @SwearyCyn, That sounds like a really horrible thing to be struggling with. I have never experienced anything like what you are describing, but I know @outlander has issues around swallowing tablets so she might be able to relate to what you are saying.

I do know that both anxiety and specific phobias are treatable, so no, I don't imagine it will hang around forever if you are able to find some support in dealing with it. Do you have a psychologist or anyone that you would be comfortable discussing the issue with?

[SwearyCyn]

I have been seeing a psychologist, I'm trying to get an appointment with her today, I'm just buzzing.

[SwearyCyn]

Got an appointment tomorrow. Went for a walk which helped a bit. I'm so terrified of eating or drinking anything. I've gotten some good tips from an FB group I'm on, but I'm just so afraid. Tell me it will be ok!

[NikNik]

Hi @SwearyCyn

It will be okay. This amazing community is here. You can use this forum as a distraction and connection to others and/or you can share some of your expeirences to get support and advice from others if you think that would be helpful.

If you're looking for some distractions, there's some good social threads. 'The great yoga adventure' discussion is pretty active at the moment and the Good Morning! discussion is usually quite busy for most of the day 

Take care

Nik

[SwearyCyn]

Thank you @NikNik I just need reassurance that I can get through this without meds because others have, and that I'm safe. I haven't eaten yet today and didn't get much sleep last night so you can imagine how woozy I'm feeling, and scared of that sensation. I just need others like me to tell me it's normal, and that it will pass. I'm not normally this needy, but my strength is low and I feel overwhelmed right now. I know I can get past this eventually, it just doesn't feel like it right now.

[NikNik]

Best wishes for your appointment today @SwearyCyn
Keep us posted on how it goes.

[outlander]

hi @SwearyCyn sorry its taken me so long to get here. its been a rough few days

ok so you have trouble swallowing at all?

i have found with my anxiety it does have the same effect as a 'closed off' sort of feeling in the throat.

its taken me a while and i couldnt take a tablet at all but i started small by cutting the tablet into quarters and sticking it in something easy to swallow like custard or ice cream. something that you can jsut swallow without thinking to much about it then gradually got bigger. i still have a lot of trouble but im now able to swallow small ones and while the big ones are hard i cut them into smaller and more manageable pieces and trying to take them when im thirsty that way they go down quicker

how did your psychologist appointment go today?

[SwearyCyn]

Thank you @outlander, totally get it. Some days are a write off and I understand you've been struggling lately so I appreciate you helping me out!

I can't swallow anything solid, and even liquids freak me out. Doesn't matter what it is. I think it's going to get stuck in my throat or chest, choke me or drown me. I'm just trying to get enough in there and work up to more substantial stuff, so the same graduated exposure that you went through and yes EXACTLY the same sensation of the closed off throat. It's so horrible. How are you now and may I ask how long it took for you to get to where you are now?

Psychologist was good. She is respectful about me not wanting to take meds. I'm doing all the right things already: meditation, walking, taking small sips and trying to have a bit more each day, camomile tea, massages. She also recommended doing left brain activities to activate the logical part of my brain more. I'm also looking into hypnotherapy which I've not tried before for my anxiety. Have you tried it?

Thank you again for your support, it really means a lot. Especially at the moment, I'm always worse at night!!

Thank you xxoo

[outlander]

hi @SwearyCyn 

thats ok, we all have our good and bad days and help where we can. Its easier for me to help others, takes my mind of other things too.
I use to and still get the same way now. Its a dreadful feeling but its your anxiety making things worse. If im anxious I cant take anything because of it.
I couldnt swallow anything at all, even though thought of it would make me gag for the same reasons youve explained here. I started off but crushing them up and put them in milk. I say milk as it hides the taste of a lot of them. I did this for a while until I became comfortable with them. Then I have a tablet that is the size of those mini m&ms and cut that in half. I just kept thinking I need these. They will help me. And kept doing it over and over again.
I found the more I would think about it the harder it would be so I tried not to think about it, its hard to start with but it does gradually get easier.
Then eventually I was able to take the whole tablet, the really small one. Now im up to having a large tablet but I cut it into quarters so its just abit bigger than the smallest one I have. I doubt ill be able to take the whole large one as its the size of a horse tablet in ther words very large.
And while its annoying taking it into quarters its what I can manage and thats enough for me.
So as you can see its not an over night fix it took me quite a long time to get where I am now but its not impossible. From someone who use to gag at the thought of havng to swallow things.

When you eat despite chewing it up heaps the amound you swallow is still greater than a tablet and that hasnt choked you yet and your able to do it. I think its the though of having to swallow something whole and cant chew it.

Its good your psychologist is supportive of you. The more pressure you feel the worse itll make you think and feel. Shes there to respect your wishes too so that is a good thing.
Yes ive been told to do the same thing. Practice the logical things like crosswords and suduko and things like that. If you like art, pick an image and copy it so its 'methodical'
night are always the worst for me too and as an effect the mornings are hard too.
Im hearing you