Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

@Eden1919  It’s good to see you, 

I’m really sorry everything is so hard. I can hear how hard you are trying. I don’t have any helpful suggestions, I think you have tried everything you know how. I can feel the same sometimes, and it’s realy awful.

Here with you to listen, and hopefully, help you know you are not alone.

Sending warm caring thoughts your way. 💜💜💕💕

[Eden1919]

@Jynx @Maggie  Thanks, I am sort of freaking out a bit at the moment I don’t know how to explain it properly but basically some stuff happened and then I saw something that freaked me out and now I am really scared and on edge and agitated. This isn’t supposed to be happening but that makes me even more nervous because it means it could have been a lot worse and that is scary and now I don’t know what to do and I keep getting all these signs and I don’t know how to explain it but I am scared now that I fucked up and that there is something/someone “coming for me” and although I do know who that is I cannot say and I keep feeling like I am being watched I guess because I am now after nevermid I can’t go into that I am just really freaked out.  I am trying to just distract myself but it is very hard and I just keep ending up pacing. 

[Maggie]

@Eden1919  I can hear how scared you are feeling.

Is there any way you can ground yourself when this happens. I’m not being insensitive to your situation, and I know you do everything you can. Sometimes, doing some very deep breathing has been helpful for me. Being aware of your breathing, and only your breathing for a short time.

I hope today is a little easier. Here and listening. Sending 💕💕💕

[Eden1919]

@Maggie  Breathing and grounding exercises make me more agitated for some reason, I ended up having a long shower and hiding in bed I am a little less scared today but I still feel weird. 

[Maggie]

@Eden1919  I think we find our own way to comfort ourselves sometimes. 

A long shower and hiding in bed , sounds like very good choices. The weird might level itself out. I hope so anyway. 

I understand how breathing exercises can make you more agitated, mindfulness can do that to me sometimes. Nothing is absolute, it’s trial and error. It might change again, if the same happens.

Just do what you can, and be gentle with yourself. I’m trying to learn that one. Sending 💕💕

[Eden1919]

@Maggie  Thanks 

I have been feeling really weird today and some stuff has been happening which is really hard to explain and everything in my head feels all muddled and I just feel really weird and off and like something is going to happen but not something good and I keep having thoughts that people aren’t really people and some other scary things are happening and I really am not sure how to explain it all I just want to be able to focus on my uni work but I can’t and every time I try and sit down and do it I get all idk how to explain it everything is just messy. 

[Maggie]

@Eden1919  I’m sorry everything is messy.

I’m hearing you. I don’t have any suggestions that might be helpful. But letting you know I’m listening.

Sometimes, just not being alone in tough times can be helpful. I hope so.

Sending caring thoughts. ❤️❤️

[Elsa]

I have walked a journey that is similar to yours. For me, I came to a point where I had had enough of how I was living. I hope the same for you. There must come a time where you challenge these thoughts as they are only thoughts. Its your decision and it comes from within. For me, absolute  determination and trying things over and over again got me to a more 'comfortable place'. These thoughts you have give you so much anxiety. I hope you can find the inner strength to change.