I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I guess it’s pretty common @tyme. I’m not alone in feeling this way but I feel alone. 

Trigger box this to or delete please. 

TW: SI/SH

Content/trigger warning

It’s not quite as bad as it was. I did do a lot of planning in recent days. I have been risky in some of the things I have done. But the risky things are lessening. It’s like a can’t be bothered anymore. I don’t have the energy. But the option is still there. I don’t need ES either. I will talk to my psych in a couple of weeks. 

[Jynx]

Oh nice @Captain24 I don't know much about him except he sang that song that is a classic 😅

I do read! Can be a struggle sometimes cos my brain does not like focusing but I have smashed a few books lately, finished Polysecure and Polywise recently which were both incredibly excellent books that I wish everyone would read regardless of whether they're interested in non-monogamy or not; currently reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents which is also fantastic and I have already rambled at you about before, and then I'm reading this...smutty fey book my partner lent me. It's very horny, and very good 😈

[Snowie]

@Jynx you are so right. We are just in the background of other people's lives. 

Maybe that's why you should always show kindness to all. You never know what is happening in their life.

@Captain24 I'm glad you are enjoying the John Farnham book.

[Captain24]

I haven’t read in ages if not years @Snowie I can’t remember the last time I did. 

[tyme]

I get you @Captain24 . Totally. It's not easy living with those thought continuously. I hope your psych can provide some insight. Let me know how it goes. Park an ice cream van?

As with the trigger warning, I'm going to escalate this. You're not the first to comment on it not being there.

[Snowie]

Thats ok @Captain24 Just take it chapter by chapter.

Even set yourself a goal. Even if it's just a chapter every week or two. Start small.

[Jynx]

Yes @Snowie exactly!! It also helps me to not take it personally if some rando is nasty to me. Like, maybe they just got divorced, who knows!! 

[Captain24]

That’s right.. I remember you talking about them @Jynx 

A smutty book.. at least it’s a little light reading in amongst your heavy stuff. 

How’s it going with your new.. well it so new, partner

[Captain24]

It’s exhausting @tyme. It’s like I’m continually fighting with myself. So I keep going or do I give in. I’ve been taking my meds while chatting on here so I have a distraction as I need to respond to the conversation. 

I see my psych on the 21st, so a little while away. 

I did bring the trigger box up in the co-design but I think it may have been missed. Or maybe not able to do it. 

Did you get your washing done? 

[Captain24]

I’m suppose to be following my safety plan so I’m trying to read. I usually do it in my front room as it’s my favourite room of the house and I don’t use it. @Snowie. The change things up part of the SP. 

I needed some fresh air and I actually quite enjoyed sitting outside reading. 

I started the orchid Lego set today.