I can’t cope

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Captain24  

It's been a big morning!

I'm glad to hear that you're not currently feeling out of control and that you're taking actions to try to maintain this. If you do start to feel you need additional help maintaining this what are some supports you can reach out to today?

You're doing so well and working so hard to get through this period

[Captain24]

Hey @Ru-bee 

I don’t have any supports. My CM has no time for me so I have given up. 

It’s been a really big morning and I’m really tired. But there is no rest when so much is going on. 

Thanks for recognising what I’m doing. I don’t feel like I’m doing very well at getting through at all. I’ve just got 3 more days and then I get looked after instead of having to deal with it myself. 

[Ru-bee]

I know it's really hard to be able to see the progress we're making when we're in the middle of it @Captain24 but I've seen you trying every day, even though some days its felt like you can't get through. Every day you do get through, and that shows so much strength persistence.

Even if you're not able to see it right now we are seeing it

Just a few more days of needing to be strong before you can have a rest, I'm so sure that you can do it. We're here for you cheering you on

[Captain24]

I’ve just done some shopping of things I need. I just have to try them on after I take Keiko to the vet. @Ru-bee 

I feel like everything is starting to come together. I need to pack the second bag but that’s with dad at the hospital so I have to wait and see when he gets out. Otherwise I’m going to have to buy a new bag. 

I have done some of my list for today. 

I feel like I have made one or two achievements. 

Sorry I’m just rambling. I need to, to try and keep myself as together as possible. 

How are you going? Any plans for the weekend? 

[Ru-bee]

It made me smile reading that you were able to acknowledge these achievements for today @Captain24 😁 Good on you!

I'm good, I've been working from my little outdoor table in the sun this afternoon which has been lovely.

For my weekend I'll be finally tackling my garage which I have not sorted since moving into this rental. It's going to be lots of trips to the op shop to drop things off I think but it will be so good once it's clear!

And then on Sunday I'll be having a bit of a family catch up as my uncle is visiting from Japan. I'm hoping to squeeze in some nice relaxation time in there too somewhere but we'll see how we go!

[Captain24]

Im trying @Ru-bee. I really am. I’m not just letting it take over. 

That sounds nice. I love the sun. Summer is my favourite season. Plus the sun is good for you. It usually lifts my mood. 

Sounds like a busy weekend. The dreaded garage. I use to have one like that. I’m so glad this one is t like it. It means I can park my cars in it. 

That's so cool that your uncle lives over there. Have you been to visit? Or are you from there? 

[Ru-bee]

Summer is my favourite season too @Captain24 and this winter has felt particularly harsh so my appreciation of the sun is at an all-time high at the moment. I hope it's sunny where you are too 🌞

No, haven't been over to visit him there yet but I plan to eventually! I've only been to Japan once on a school trip, and I've wanted to go back ever since but alas travel is expensive and life seems to get in the way sometimes.

He's from Aus but lives over there with his Japanese partner who just happened to once upon a time teach Japanese at my old high school where I took Japanese. She was there before my time but that little link always amused me.

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing @Captain24 .

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.. as well as your sore back! 

You've got so much on your plate and it feels like it's also a mountain high. 

I somehow think that on Monday, you can breathe a big sigh of relief.

With any admission I had, it was sort of respite for my brain. Just knowing that you'd be 'looked after' can really allow one to focus on working on their mental health. I think that was one difference an admission made for me.

[Captain24]

It has been a bit nasty @Ru-bee. Hopefully this weather will last. It’s overcast here today. We have had the odd shower. 

Travel is expensive and yes everything else gets in the way. I’ve got Facebook memories coming up from 13 years ago when I was in Spain. I said since then that I wanted to go to England. But yes life hasn’t allowed for it. 

That’s a cool little link. Are you from a small area? 

[Captain24]

I’ve been on a bit of a ramble @tyme but I need it. 

Dad is in hospital 1 1/2 hrs away. He is waiting to see the surgeon. They might transfer him to another hospital that is 2 hrs away from here but it’s another hour that mum has to drive. 

My back is killing me.

It is all too much it seems like I just try to keep going but nothing I do helps with it. I do feel slightly less manic than last night though. 

I have my shopping list down to just supermarket stuff. But I do need to change the swimmers I’ve bought. I’ll have a look at Kmart before I swap them at big w. 

My tax still hasn’t come through. If by some miracle it does tomorrow I need to buy some trackies to take. But I can afford the supermarket stuff. Which is a relief. I’d be ok if I didn’t have to make sure I had everything in advance. Plus all the extra stuff I need due to things not fitting. 

It will be the break I need right now. I have friends coming to visit lots which is awesome but at the same time I want some alone time. If that makes sense? 

Do you have a meeting? Any updates? 

See rambling again but at least its

not as chaotic as last night.