I can’t cope

[tyme]

Oh, nah, it's not being used at all. @Captain24 . When I need a break, I tell my sister. And where possible, they do everything unless I offer. For example, there's some days I pick up the kids from school but they never ask. If I happen to be that way at pick up time, I just message them and get the kids. And the kids love it because I get them treats lol. Just seeing them run to be after school is so heart warming. They kids all wanted to sleep with me tonight. I said no way. Then the youngest says, "That's not fair! I never get to sleep with you!" And she's right. The other two have, but not the youngest.

It's slow-going with my BIL. The business is moving a little, but just slow. I think it's expected with any business and they were prepared for it. As long as he is well, that's my main concern.

As for the in-laws, they will be going back to sydney soon. I think next month or the month after!

Anyway, I just realised the time. I'm heading off. 

Rest up and I'll catch you over the weekend.

[Captain24]

Thank you @tyme 

Sleep well if you can!

Talk soon 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Captain24 , it seems you had another better day yesterday, despite feeling lost? And I saw you supporting others, so you must've felt a bit stronger? 🤞

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@Captain24 wrote:

Hope all is ok with you? 

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Yes, thanks.

I hope today is another better day for you 🤞

[Bow]

I need to look into setting up the family sharing things on my iPad @tyme  I allow her to use it for 1hr each day and that’s it. At the moment we set a timer. 

but her ‘iPad’ isn’t an iPad, it’s a Lenovo tablet, so it’s not as easy. 

when she was banned from my iPad it was actually really nice. She had the initial meltdown, but once that was over she understood and didn’t whinge for it back. She played. She spent a lot more time out of her room and with us, especially of an evening. She likes to use my iPad to play a certain game that she can’t play on hers. 

I most definitely relied on the iPads too much in the past. When I don’t have the capacity it’s just easier to say here, go play on this. But I don’t want to do that anymore, cause as you said, it’s not good. 

for the school holidays I have booked D into vacation care a few days. I let her pick which days she wants to go depending on what activities they are doing. I think we will go to a little zoo with my friend and her granddaughter- they both get on really well.  And then hopefully we will do something fun one day too. 

[Captain24]

Today is hard. I did so well for a little while but today it’s all too much. 

What have I done wrong? I have been doing all self care things. I got out of bed at 9 am. I’ve been trying but today is a fail.

I have nothing in me. I have nothing to give. I feel like I’m nothing but did feel that way yesterday. What has happened? 

[Captain24]

[edited by moderator] Maybe when I wake up I’ll go back to feeling like yesterday. I want it back. I want to know what I’ve done wrong. What I failed at. I tried so hard. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

I hear today is so hard. I know how much you reached out and tried yesterday. You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. This can be exhausting and maybe this is why you are feeling this way.

Don't let this pull you down. We are here to support you. Push past the early days, and in time, it will get easier and easier.

Remember I spoke about things being extremely difficult for me earlier this week? I had to consciously push past the negativity for days. It was EXHAUSTING! And true, I just wanted to sleep. Yet today, after 5 days of battling, things are so much better. I wonder if this account will give you an indication that it's pretty normal for you to feel this way? It doesn't mean you have failed.

Also, just a note that I had to edit your post to remove the mention of a risky coping mechanism as part of our guidelines. Hope that's okay with you.

Remember, you are not alone. 

[Captain24]

Well that wasn’t my smartest move. Now I’m ridiculously tired with a massive headache and my body has nothing.

I didn’t even get to go back to yesterday’s feeling. Now I actually feel worse

[Jynx]

Hey @Captain24 sounds rough. In need of some rest by the sounds of it? 

[Captain24]

I took a sleeping tablet so I could sleep the afternoon away in the hope of waking up feeling better. @Jynx 

Yesterday was a good day and it felt great but today went backwards. I don’t know why and I can’t figure out what I did wrong. I did the same stuff as yesterday it it just didn’t work. 

Im feeling like it’s just never meant to happen for me. Maybe im just not good enough. Maybe I just don’t deserve it.