Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

Don’t think I can do it this time @Faith-and-Hope. I am shattered into pieces. There is no hope or future that will be ok. 

[outlander]

@Teej 💜 💜 💜

[Tortoiseshell]

Hi @Teej,

It sounds like things are really tough at the moment, and it's good you're getting some extra support from the forums today. When you mention so much wanting it over I wasn't sure if you were talking about thoughts of suicide so I have sent you an email to check in. If you are feeling safe and just wanted to talk on the forums please feel free to continue to do so, but if you are feeling at all unsafe have a look in your inbox to think about how to keep safe. 

Take care 

Tortoiseshell 

[CheerBear]

Oh @Teej 😔 What happened? Listening if you feel up to talking/venting etc.

[Teej]

Not so much up for talking yet @CheerBear , @outlander , @Faith-and-Hope 

I came so close to the edge 😢, am trying to stay away from the edge a bit for now. It was the psychiatrist report @CheerBear . Had a call to help centre which helped. I don’t think I can talk about it for now @CheerBear because I’m still feeling fragile and know I can’t get so worked up again 😦. Am very teary still as well. 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

It's OK to not be able to tak right now @Teej . So much feel for you with the report (and had a gut feeling it might have been a big ouch one for you). 

Glad you had a helpful call. Gentle, understanding hugs for your fragile and oodles of love to you 💗

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💜💜💐💕 @Teej 

[Shaz51]

It's OK to not be able to tak right now @Teej , sending you lots of tender hugs my friend

[Teej]

Nothing like you coming back and me going straight into the biggest crisis for maybe a year or more @Faith-and-Hope . I am so sorry this is the greeting you got from me 😢

thanks @Shaz51  💜

still feeling so so so sad and not wanting to live this life anymore but not acting on the urges to do something about it just yet. I am so scared about everything. @CheerBear  and I recently talked about broken radars. It appears that my very big freak out (I did something I haven’t done for years 😞 a bad behaviour) might be a result of my very broken radar of not knowing who to trust and not understanding something in the context it was given. 

My group today was hard too. It felt like my past should be a guide to my future but to me it feels like very different things and that my past has no bearing on my future. I’m talking in a language of my own right now I feel. 

I so dont know who I am and it feels like everyone else knows. 

Im trying not to give in to my feelings of sadness and overwhelm and feelings of hopelessness but could do with some support 😔😩

[CheerBear]

Not a lot of words @Teej but a lot of feelings reading your post. That all sounds like such a sad and horrible place to be. So sorry 😔