Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

I don’t know how to get past this stuff that has happened. I am feeling incredibly stupid writing this because I have no idea what i need or what would help. 

The cycle of the last last few days has been to ring a helpline in distress and cry until I sleep. Once I wake it all builds as I try to problem solve stuff but then the emotion builds and the urges to sh in a substantial way keep coming until I ring in distress and then fall asleep totally exhausted from the emotion. I don’t know how to break the cycle and the longer it goes on the harder it will be to keep myself safe. 

Can anyone one tell me if they do this too, and how do you break the cycle? I’m not sure how to keep going with this level of distress. 

I didnt make it to see to see my son, I was paralysed by the emotion. I am so scared to face him now too. 

[CheerBear]

Listening and with you @Teej, with lots of others who care about you.

I know when things get so hard, as it sounds they are for you now, that it feels like it's impossible to be able to get through it. I also know that until now, you, me, and everyone here has managed to get through even the most impossible feeling situations. Things change and they do pass, maybe not always for the best or in the way we want, but they always change. I think that's what I hold on to when it gets this tough.

Is there anyone there with you tonight?

Biggest love ❤

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @Teej ......

Are you able to accept that this is what you need for this moment ..... trying to problem solve, getting all twisted up in the process of it, calling a helpline in distress, then falling asleep ?  It may be that you are working through something this way, but you are afraid of becoming addicted to the process, and are beating yourself up over it prematurely .....

There are times when we turn things over and over in our minds, trying to see something different ..... and maybe there isn’t something different to see, but that doesn’t mean that a new idea or a new way of accepting the thing can’t happen anyway ...... and it might be a new element that comes into play - the change that @CheerBear is talking about, that bumps what we have been tossing over into a new relationship .....  not because it’s any different, but because there has been some sort of change moving into that arena that we didn’t anticipate.  We all do this .....

I spent a lot of time calling helplines, wanting a different answer to my situation and falling asleep in floods of tears that there wasn’t one ..... but life rolled on, and things changed, even though that thing hasn’t changed ..... and we are on a different page, with that unchanged thing still in tow, but sidelined ..... mostly ......

[CheerBear]

Far out @Teej 😔

I dont have many words to say except that I think I'd be feeling pretty shattered and all kinds of not coping with that. Big, big blow.

So sorry Teej.

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Teej ..... I am so sorry this has happened, and I can hear the sense of betrayal you are feeling Hon ..... and it sucks, but you have encounteted “sucks” before ......

Its a twist in the path, sending you in a new direction, and while that can be scary, you don’t know where it might lead that other paths haven’t achieved, because they were leading here .....

You still have support here at Sane.  Can you check in every day for now, and work from a plan ?

There are community / religious / relationship support groups that offer support within the community without requiring or demanding any sort of commitment to their system in return ..... and don’t require payment as a part of their ethos.  Have you taken a look at any of those ?

You have skills, so it might be help in applying them that is your best support ..... having someone to walk along with you as you take the baby steps ?

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Teej ..... 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💕💕💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 

[Teej]

@Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear. I’m going to sign off for the night. Thank you for your support. 

[Sans911]

@Teej 💜❤️

[Faith-and-Hope]

Goodnight Hon ..... I will be looking for you tomorrow .....

💜💕😘💐❣️

@Teej

[CheerBear]

Same ⬆️ @Teej

Big lots of these 💛💜💙