Having a meltdown. At work. Again.

[Jlol]

Hi all.

I just can't do it. I cant think. My brain is just not cooperating. All it does is repeatedly think about ways to off myself.

I can't get any work done. I'm worried I'll get sacked. 

I just really can't keep going like this as it keeps getting worse and worse, but I have to keep going like this because if I didn't I'd stop being able to pay the bills or groceries or meds and that is worse still.

I'm really, really worried actually. I can't function anymore - even my vision is super blurry. 

WTF do i do?

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Jlol, sorry to hear that you are going through this and it must be really stressful. I have had similar worries and my MH and finances in the past and it plays on my mind for the future if it ever returns. I am curious to know what you do now to cope and how you are supported? 

I know that having support was key to me working through my recovery and going to TAFE to get qualifications. I still have professional supports to get me through the tough times which still come often. 

RiverSeal 

[Misty5]

I've been there because of grief and later repetitive work. Sorry you are going through it too. If it is the nature of the work you can ask for job redesign or at least a bit more variety of tasks. I don't know where your deadlines are at but you could take ohs leave or at least go to the optometrist to get your eyes checked to take a break. Best wishes!

[Till23]

Hi @Jlol 

Are you employed in a way that gives you access to sick leave or annual leave?

 If so, you might find it useful just to take a small break while you’re feeling  you are not functioning well.

Or if not, maybe a couple of days off just to get some distance between work and your current “brain situation”.

Sometimes just letting your employer know can help as they may be able to

move you to different duties.

 I certainly have felt as though I was not functioning properly at work. 
I hope you can find a solution to your current dilemma 

[Jlol]

Thanks @Till23 

These are good suggestions, but I've already come back from leave. My shrink told me to take Friday off so I had 4 days off. I recovered well then, but as soon as I got back to work it just started back up from where it left off.

I don't think it's wise to tell employers about MH stuff - you don't know how they'll react. I did touch on it about a year ago with my boss, who is a really nice guy, but things definitely changed afterwards - I stopped getting more responsibilities and opportunities. I guess they didn't think I was stable enough to handle those extra responsibilities anymore which is disappointing.

[Till23]

I’m glad you had a few days break from work and it’s good to hear that it was helpful.

 I agree that it very much depends on your employer whether you broach MH issues with them.

Is it possible to take a few mins now and then to do some mindfulness or  breathing techniques at work? Just to create some space in your brain to be in the moment which might help your concentration