Functioning with ADHD

[Jynx]

Hey @creative_writer sorry to hear that staying safe is feeling so hard at the moment. 

One thing I try to remember/remind folks about with helplines is that every time you call, it is a roll of the dice - you might call 1800RESPECT again and get told the same thing, or you might get someone who can and will hold that space for you in the way you need. Same goes for crisis lines. Definitely harder to do after a crappy experience but it might help you 'rewrite' that bad experience too. Food for thought 💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx maybe I should ask to talk to a trauma specialist counsellor next time, that can be more helpful. It is tricky, can be a hit or miss.

I do hope I can get this agitation to settle within a few days, don’t feel like taking the new meds for longer. Low energy, worsened depression and ADHD aren’t ideal. Still trying to navigate mental health and neurodivergence, my bipolar meds don’t adequately manage my overall mental wellbeing.

I hope today has been kind to you 💖

[Jynx]

@creative_writer it's a long journey hey!! Especially with how mental health and neurodivergence tend to intersect, hey. That 'low energy/agitation' combo is so gnarly, I know for me it is like I am UBER restless but nothing feels like it will satisfy. Movement can help, if I can find the motivation. 

Hope your evening is unfolding gently 💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx 

Low energy agitation is awful, I’m dealing with it now. That’s why my pdoc gave me a new PRN, only problem is it makes me feel flat, foggy, super low and even more unmotivated, I also had moments of spaceyness. I either chose between agitated and low energy or just super low energy depression (the one that wipes you out). Neither great, but the later is safer (because I am less likely to do risky things even if urges are still present). I’ll see how things go over the weekend with the new meds, I know I can always reach out for an appointment. I’m hoping it settles soon and I don’t need more than a few PRNs, the side effects are awful. It’s worse than my old PRN. I just happen to develop a tolerance to the old PRN so it is pretty much useless. I’ll take the new PRN with my regular meds before bed, I know I have to.

I might be able to reduce agitation with PRN in short term. I know I need to work on improving overall mental wellbeing in the long term. Meds can help a bit, but don’t feel adequate. Therapy has been great, but it would be helpful if I was able to do more. Being physically sick makes it hard to do things. I am getting support for my physical health soon. I can also barely concentrate, I’ve increased my saffron intake to approx therapeutic dose, don’t know if I should just buy the tablets at this point. I’ll wait and see what the effects are. I am experiencing executive functioning breakdown, too much pressure on my brain from multiple angles, too much anxiety, emotional desregulation, chronic pain and burn out

[Jynx]

@creative_writer aye totally, I sometimes think of it like.... meds are there to get us stable enough to function, so that we have the brain space to work on the mental stuff. They cannot 'fix' us - first of all cos we're not broken, but yeah they can keep us steady while we work through stuff. So sounds like you're still finding your balance hey. 

My psych spoke a bit about ADHD burn out - said it was different to regular burn out. Might be something you're dealing with? Wonder if there's a ted talk on it somewhere 😅

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it is true meds help stabilise but don’t fix it. Still trying to find that med stability. I’ve taken my evening meds and will be sleeping after I am ready for bed. Takes me a very long time, not even sure what I do. I still feel awful, but the meds slowed down the agitated thoughts.

It would be helpful if I was able to implement more from therapy, I’ve just been limited with chronic pain, chronic fatigue and burn out. I can’t physically get myself to get up and going. Might look into ADHD burn out

[Jynx]

Hope they cart you off to sleep swiftly and soundly @creative_writer! 

I wonder if that's something to talk about in therapy - how to prioritise your energy/which strategies are most important to focus on - reduce the amount of overwhelm by reducing the info you're having to process and choices you have to make. I think one thing about ADHD burn out is that it's not just about being overwhelmed, it's overwhelmed by having to make decisions, prioritise stuff, and other stuff that needs those executives to be more functional. If I find any further info I'll share!

[creative_writer]

@Jynx the agitation has settled, but this deep depression is still very present. Feel a bit spacey due to the meds, I don’t feel like myself, it took away my personality. Still have SI, but I don’t have the energy to act on them. I don’t think I’ll be able to get much done today, I’m also sick with a respiratory illness again. I wasn’t even sick that long ago. I want to avoid antibiotics because my yeast infection is out of control (I am using meds to fix that).

I can raise the issue with my psych. Looking at strategies might help, along with stabilising emotions and physical side of health

[creative_writer]

Does anyone ever look bad and wish they didn't grow up so fast?

[Jynx]

@creative_writer hey hun, sounds like a rough time, especially that feeling of losing yourself 🥺

I think the 'grew up too quick/old soul' vibe is pretty common for childhood trauma survivors, hey. For me, one of the best 'antidotes' to this feeling has been to embrace my inner child and... well, often it involves being very silly 😋