Functioning with ADHD

[creative_writer]

When will the rumination end, if only moving forward and leaving it all behind was easy. But it doesn’t work that way, intrusive thoughts pop up constantly

[creative_writer]

If this doesn’t end, then what choice do I have? I’ll do whatever I need to safely

[tyme]

Hey @creative_writer , what you are you up to?  The kids are watching Lilo and stich because it's the school holidays. I've never seen it, but it looks boring.

[creative_writer]

@tyme I watched lilo and stitch as a kid, only remembers bits and pieces.

I’m doing nothing, I have no energy and feel nauseous and heavy, so I’m in bed. I have no motivation to get up and have lost my ability to do simple things like breathing exercises. Like I literally can’t and it’s frustrating

[tyme]

I know you mentioned you don't feel well, but sometimes, does pusing yourself to get out in fresh air help @creative_writer ?

[creative_writer]

@tyme I don’t think I have it in me to do that, the cold and dark don’t seem so appealing. I know you’re trying to help, it’s just hard when you feel too stuck to move. I’m just frustrated. I’ll keep myself going somewhat in the morning, the caffeine from matcha plus the saffron helps. But I’m pretty much way too exhausted to function at all by afternoon, it gets worse in the evening. My brain is trying to figure out how I can be normal, do you think it’s ever justifiable to use unhealthy ways just to get through the day? If I have a productive day, rumination will naturally be lowered, so it sort of feels like a win. My morning might also become more productive, the anxiety starts to pick up eventually

[creative_writer]

Is there any other solution? I can’t seem to find a reasonable one. I need to function or I’m not going to get anywhere. I can’t live my life like this

[tyme]

I'll be honest... you're right. You can't continue like this.

I can't say much because people need to make that discovery themselves and I don't want to offend people with my words if they are not ready.

As much as I wish I could help you, it's something YOU have to do. 

Be stubborn and firm in breaking that thought cycle that keeps you bound @creative_writer  But this is only my thinking. 

You know your stuff. I just hope you will be able to do what's right by you because in a way, it's hard to see you having these thought patterns day in-day out. I actually 'feel' your pain.

As one of my key clinicians said, "You've got to be sick of being sick" and "You are the author of your own story. If you don't like how it's going, change it."

[creative_writer]

@tyme I get people want to be able to heal themselves. But I’m stuck, I can’t concentrate on anything all day, even breathing exercises feel too overwhelming. I think I need to be somewhat functional to progress further. It’s not just about breaking thought patterns, but I’m not going anywhere until I can concentrate on everyday tasks. I can’t do it, that’s all. I don’t know what the f is wrong with me. I want answers but nobody gives them to me. I am chronically fatigued, chronically in distress, chronically have brain fog. If it was just mental health, it would’ve been so much easier, but I literally can’t. I can’t change it no matter how hard I try. I don’t mean to disregard what you say, but there are things you can’t change, and I’m afraid I’m stuck with that

[creative_writer]

@Jynx how do you get over ADHD brain fog without meds, I can’t function