Functioning with ADHD

[AuntGlow]

I recall you saying that these appointments are in place to help support a health nervous/immune system, so whilst it is a lot right now, is there a part of you that can see how more balance will be helpful for your body and mind? @creative_writer 🥰

If it is safe to do so and your pdoc has said it's okay, then it could be helpful to try!

It really does sound like your thoughts are loud, that must be so tiring... what is within your control tonight? I have noticed that redirecting to that can be helpful for you? 

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow the nutritionist has gotten back to any questions I’ve had for the new plan, she is very busy. I know realistically diet needs changing before starting a workout routine, my previous workout routines failed me. I couldn’t get an appointment earlier on before next week. I have my psych appointment next week, I want to double check the day and time, it doesn’t seem to be in my calendar. I need to keep an eye out for GP cancellations, just realised I needed a new referral.

I have control over what I can do to self soothe

[creative_writer]

I’m feeling fixated on my eating habits, it’s like nothing else has room in my brain

[AuntGlow]

It sounds like your mind is really craving control right now @creative_writer (I can relate to this, as you know). Does your body feel activated right now too?

If so, I wonder what would happen if you allowed yourself to breathe and feel what you are feeling? Does that feel safe to explore? 

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I need control, challenging disordered eating is going to send the mind to anxiety mode. It’s how I coped with trauma. I know certain coping strategies are maladaptive, but when one feel gross and disgusting from trauma, it can show up in other places. Medically I know continuing as I am is not going to serve me. I am also confused whether I have an ED (perhaps been in denial) or just disordered eating.

Right now I just feel so confused. Trying to breathe

[AuntGlow]

I hear you, breathing is a good idea. I think trying to work it all out on your own might exacerbate anxious feelings. It sounds like you are needing to be connected to a sense of safety right now, so how can we do that together? @creative_writer ☺️

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I want the memories to go away, but I know that’s not an option right now.

I could wrap myself in a blanket

[AuntGlow]

I understand, that must be so painful and overwhelming. @creative_writer 

We've got you, okay? 

Wrapping yourself in a blanket sounds really soothing. 

Is there a prayer or a mantra you could say as well? 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I did not sleep well last night, now I have a massive migraine. Maybe have overdone some stuff this morning, I do have excessive energy, but not the good type, probably too much adrenaline from little sleep.

I also feel by focusing on eating habits, I sort of avoid thinking about traumatic memories. I know it is a coping strategy in a way, but I constantly try to find something to lean into so I don't have to think. I know this way of coping is only going to burn me out, and I'm supposed to learn to sit with the pain. The battle of wanting to unalive myself but not wanting to die is hard. I'm trying to rest up now since I'm not doing so well physically and mentally.

And I forgot to post

[creative_writer]

I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into