Lived Experience Forum

[BoredZora]

Hi all.

I'm sometimes horrible when it comes to forum like discussions, I find it hard to keep up with but I'll keep the tab open on my phone so I'll hopefully actually check it!

Skip to the bottom for my main enquirely. 

I go on a bit sometimes, not great at being concise. 

Context:

The last year and a half has broken me.

I wasndiagnosed in February with ADHD, previously being diagnosed with BDP in 2017 after a series of hospitalizations and struggles. 

I got through 2017 by dropping my role as a manager back down to a casual, only doing 3 shifts a week instead of 5, taking a holiday to Japan, and then enrolling into uni. The last time I studied back in 2011-2012 I loved it, I was thriving and I wanted to study further. But the lea rom a tafe diploma to a bachelor was a jump. 

I hoped to make friends, to better myself and my work (illustrator/animator) and while I became more productive, I didn't make friends. Everytime an assignment was due I stressed out so much, and I still do. 

I changed courses, and the pressure got worse. 

I'm now in my final year. My classes are finally moving offline and back on campus, but I'm not sure if it's enough. I have only a week before I'm meant to go back, but I've barely recovered yet. 

I've just finished this semester after getting a month long extension on my work and withdrawing from one of my subjects. 

I went from HDs to being unreliable, constantly fatigued and unwell, and not meeting deadlines at all. 

I feel like the stress used to push me, maybe moreso than my peers (I'd be crying sometimes from frustration, telling myself my assignments would get poor marks and won't be done in time. Then hand them in days early and get a HD) but now after 3 and a half years of studying I'm just burnt out. I was burnt out most of last year too, and I feel like I need a break to properly recover. 

Every time I start to progress I end up slipping. More recently I was doing well at uni, attending the classes that were available in person, getting work done, sleeping okay.

Then the Vic lockdown happened and I instantly felt sick and tired again, routine went out the window again. Etc etc.

I lost my job of 5 years last year during lockdowns. I went from crazy productive to sitting around at times too tired to do anything. My shifts were cut again and again before my workplace closed down, I was on my way to being the equivalent of "fired" as a casual (they just stop giving you shifts basically)

Main query:

I've been on student payments for a while now. As of march the payments were decreased to a point where over half of my monthly payments go into rent. 

I dont think I'm ready to work yet, or that I'd let a workplace down at this stage. I think I need to take uni off, or at least reduce my study load, but  that means going off student payments and onto job seeker. I take weeks to reply to emails sometimes, I have an election fine I still haven't responded to that's going to cost me, yet even the money isn't a motivator to do things anymore so applying for those set amount of jobs I don't think I can do stresses me out. 

I don't want to have less routine. But I do want time to destress and work on myself. I can't do this it seems without the financial support, but I'm weary of applying for NDIS (so many forms!) Or disability payments because despite everything, I'm scared I wouldn't qualify. 

I have pets, and I turned my garage into an art studio (I have so many supplies!) So moving in with the folks who aren't super supportive of my mental health issues doesn't seem like an option either. (I'm 28, I'd have to kick my brother out of my old bedroom which is the smallest in the house with no privacy)

It's building up. I'm with MIND but I haven't had contact with them in maybe 3 weeks. 

Are there services that can guide me available? People to help you go through the forms and such? I just can't find anything and I'm so tired of searching. 

[Cin]

Hi @BoredZora l too am in a similar situation.. I'm currently on job seeker and have a medical exemption for 3 months so I don't need to meet mutual obligations while I apply for DSP. I put a post up a couple of days ago's and received some very helpful links. I will do my best to send them to you Xx

[Gwynn]

Have you talked to a disability advocate? They can be really helpful.

[BoredZora]

Thank you! I'll have a look through 🙂

[BoredZora]

No I haven't. Never even heard of a disability advocate before. Might be a place to start (again)on google. Thanks!