Contemplating leaving the forums

[creative_writer]

@tyme I’m sure there is a healthy way to balance how much care and attention you give to other people’s opinions. Some cultures are very collectivistic, it can be harder to undo it completely. Honor is heavily emphasised for some cultures. The honor of one person also affects their family. So perhaps it’s not realistic to lift cultural expectations completely, but to make it more bearable and lighter.

My parents are on the socially anxious side, I think sometimes we mirror our parents without realising. They try to conform

[tyme]

Agreed. Even if we try so hard not to be like our parents, we sometimes just end up like them @creative_writer 

I guess I always have to have it in my mind that if i don't like how my life is heading, I need to pluck up the courage to change it. 

And also, I focus on the things in my life that i CAN control as opposing to 'wasting' my energy worrying about things I can't control/change (including my past and my mistakes).

[creative_writer]

@tyme I try not to take certain characteristics of my parents, but I do sometimes end up taking them. At the end of the day I have my own opinions, and I’ve had to fight for it before. It’s so damn exhausting, but I did it. Like it took so much out of me, so much sweat and tears to finally get mental health support. I wasn’t allowed to see a therapist at 17. I don’t think they have ever felt comfortable about the idea. I don’t tell them much about my sessions. They eventually caved in once I turned 18. The pressure to conform has been a long one.

It is very hard to change the need to conform, and I know it’s realistically going to take time. It may take a a number of thought entries and working on improving my own self worth. I know self worth shouldn’t be based on other people’s opinions, and everyone has intrinsic self worth. It just isn’t something that can be fixed quickly