Christian Chat

[DownMoreThanUp]

@heartathome Thanks for caring enough to reply as you did. If you are interested knowing the lyrics they are under the video when you press more on the description. 

i could not really write poetry yesterday, that is why i borrow the lyrics of that song in the first place, for most of the content lent itself perfectly for where i was at the time.

No i do not suffer from SI, neither suicidal ideation or self injury, rather i'm refering to the crucifixion of myself in my carnal self.

if you look at the original song you will see what i mean, i could not use those words here at SANE that is why i altered them to say what they did for me.

Maybe ponder feeling and seeing red............AT YOUR INNER TORMENTORS...... the ones you declared straight in their faces you are going to fight to death.

i hope this makes some sense.

Still not in a good space myself. i keep being overcome by exhaustion and nausea. i have a hospital consolation halfway February about the nausea. After that still the procedure to stick a camera in my stomach. So who knows how long i have to struggle with feeling as sick as a dog, always triggering depression, racing thoughts and an even worse struggle with insomnia waking up feeling so sick.

Thanks for praying sis. That is greatest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJis2skju7g&list=RDGJis2skju7g&start_radio=1

[Appleblossom]

He has gone with some friends to watch the cricket. Wholesome dude time, with my Blessing. But I am going through hell on his account.  Not his fault.

Thanks for your support @heartathome 

[heartathome]

I'm sorry that you're not feeling well! 😔 I didn't realise the nausea was an ongoing issue. I hope they can pinpoint the issue and fix it quickly. 

I can understand the exhaustion today as you were really upset yesterday! You sound quieter today. Are you still feeling the rage? I'm glad you don't suffer from SI. I understand more now of what you meant. Thanks for explaining it to me @DownMoreThanUp ! 

I listened to the song. I usually don't listen to many! It would be a good way to remember scripture, especially for the younger kids, with actions to go with it. 💛  

[DownMoreThanUp]

@heartathome No i was not raging yesterday, but triggered being denied my say. In my (past) raging alter the underlaying issue of triggers is always rejection for who i am when i am me. Not so much by others, for most have no idea i have such an alter, but myself and my loved ones, who do know me at my worst.

Having only just left my atheistic stands in this alter behind 5 months ago when i first came back online here at SANE. Straight after in a psychotic episode Jesus brought me to to my knees the unbeliever i still had been even watching Jesus do what He did for the rest of me.

At the moment i still really struggle trusting Jesus paid for me, and find it hard to let go of the bad life i have my existence in. For i'm still without love, hope or faith in Jesus longing to have it, as i have in my other alters, but having for so long fought myself in my faith am now confronted with the forces in me who made me like that. (Hence the poem)

Not sure if you can remember that time, although i think i got to know you there. (The issue is for me to let myself be myself in this alter and not again seek my demise myself being who i am, and let God' love merge me into the unite that is me in Him.)

i share you a song where i'm up to in this alter self.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pONRYVXtUNk&list=RDpONRYVXtUNk&start_radio=1

[heartathome]

You're welcome @Appleblossom 💛

 

[Realness]

Hi to all in the Christian chat,

I saw this chat referred to another Christian about a week ago and have been following it.

Would I be welcome to post to it?

I'd like to post the highlight of my bible study for the day. Maybe a verse or feeling uplifted from a verse.

[heartathome]

* What do you mean by an alter? * 

Having only just left my atheistic stands in this alter behind 5 months ago - I'm sorry @DownMoreThanUp I feel really stupid. I don't understand. To me it's saying you've been a Christian for 5 months. I don't know.

To me, you speak in poetry, which is fine, but I don't always understand. This means I need to ask questions. I need to learn your style of speaking. The words you use that I don't know. I'm learning downmorethanup, but you'll need to be patient with me! 💛

At the moment i still really struggle trusting Jesus paid for me - I can relate 

For i'm still without love, hope or faith in Jesus - I've always seen your faith as strong. We all need hope! And like Peter in the Bible says, where else would we go? We have the one true God with us, whether we feel like it or not! I really believe that you are in God's hand. 

alter self - ??

I liked the song. Do you feel like that at the moment?

[heartathome]

That sounds wonderful,  @Realness . It's open to everyone! 💛

 @MaWanaPIer  I just thought I'd give you a tag in case you were interested. No pressure! 💛

[Realness]

Thanks, @heartathome , for supporting my post.

Today I read Ephesians 5 and 6. Two translations - The Message and a more traditional translation. While it refreshed my spirit, as always, nothing really jumped out at me as a particular highlight.

I remembered a particularly effective sermon on how difficult it is to truly obey the commands for husbands and wives. How each gets stuck and thinks "why should I" honour that person in that way. But I'm single so I can glide over those verses.

I also thought about obeying the work boss and previous situations where doing that meant doing the job not as well. Maybe I should have just obeyed.

Thanks again for supporting my post.

[heartathome]

Wow. I like the verses about the armour of God. Chapter 6: 13 - 17 It's a whole study in itself. I go to church and a Bible study group, that I get a lot out of a few verses. It's amazing when you have other people to bounce off! I always have a lot of questions! 🙂

Yes, I recently had a discussion with my study leader about obeying and yes, at times difficult to do, especially when you know of a better way than your boss of doing something  @Realness ! 😁 💛