Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

 @outlander ❤

[outlander]

thanks @Former-Member
you should save those pics for you too
how are you going?

[Former-Member]

Youre right outlander, i have an "encouragement" image folder in my phone that i remember to read some days, for myself, but its not the same as knowing it comes from someones heart in thinking of you (if that makes sense). Hope i picked well for you.
My day? Well... to be honest "somethings not right" dont know hat it is - i just stop and stare a lot and feel like i'm gonna black out for a long time, no energy... but more physical maybe. I donno, hard to explain. My head's fuzzy. Wondering if its some delayed exhaustion or so!?. Still managed 3 meals, beds, dishes & 2 loads washing (out not in). Probably need to get checked. Finally booked my shoulder cortisone injection >Thurs (bursitis) - bit of a coward with such things 😨 Hope it works. Hows your hand?

[outlander]

yep that makes sense @Former-Member i can read thing over again but it means more to share it with someone else.
from what ive read it wouldnt surprise me at all if it was exhaustion. would respite care be an option for you?

well done on getting those things done, i know how hard it can be to do anything sometimes. im a coward too, cant stand needles though i should be use to them by now- need blood every month or 2.


my hand is slowly getting there but it really painful tonight, had physio today and then overused it. i can finally bend my hand 80% of the way but no weight bearing, not alot of grip or hand strength and still have carpal tunnel to contend with.


@Sans911 something clicked tonight, you said to me you dont know alot about me so cant say why i react the way i do... is there anything in particular that you wanted to know? it is easier to answer questions then for me to say alot.. i will share if i can..

[Sans911]

@outlander

All I meant was I don't know things about you like your entire life history, although I know some significant events. It's not that I need to know more, just I noticed you seem to be very emotionally sensitive and reactive. And obviously because I don't see or hear entire details due to guidelines or privacy concerns,  I don't know why you react the way you do. But everyone is different, so there's no 'normal' reaction really.

I worry about you; a lot. I worry that lots of things trigger strong reactions in you, that must be quite distressing and traumatic. I feel helpless to help at times, and that's frustrating for me. I would really like for you to get help to deal with these strong emotional reactions so you're less distressed. I hope that all makes sense and I'm not offending you. I'm quite comfortable with anything you want to share.

[outlander]

no that makes sense @Sans911 i also realise ive been here for a little while longer than ive known you so i guess my story has either been said (and dont think to say it again) or its scattered everywhere.
tbh i dont really know where my 'story' fits in unless the topic is brought up- does that make sense?

i only have 3 real signifcant events (abuse, grief and the attack) andi guess the horse accident as that is why i no longer ride etc but i guess it really is a mix of everything that has happened in the past and present as well. the recent event was i caught someones mid break in (thankfully another male was there to help) i cant say anymore though but its being dealt with and will be sorted out asap by cops.

and yes alot of things do set off those big emotions, alot of the time im caught way off guard. it just hits instead of creeping up. im still waiting to hear from the clinic 2 hrs away hopefully ill hear from them this week. i very much appreciate your help too, i can imagine your frustrations, it is the same for me. i want so badly to help with more than just words on a screen too.

[Sans911]

You do spread yourself around the forums @outlander

as I can see tonight. It's a beautiful thing to see. You have so much compassion and love to give to others.

Do you know I've been on the forums for one year this June just gone? In a way, it would be nice to collate our own posts together. It would make for interesting reading.

Your story doesn't need to 'fit' anywhere. It just is. And you say as much as is comfortable for you. It's the same thing with me.

[outlander]

Wow a yr already! @Sans911 it feels like ive know you forever. Ive been here a yr and a half. I was under another name to start with though.
Most of my story is on a thread called when is it time for hospital. Alot though i leave in the past unless it gets brought up again not really knowing when/where to say it sort of thing.

But i do get where your coming from. If you do have questions then feel free to ask them. I dont mind.

[outlander]

**then =though 😞 fat fingers tonight

[outlander]

@Sans911 im going to try to get some sort of sleep so am logging off for now.
Goodnight sis 💜