Lived Experience Forum

[kristin]

Hey, no need to apologise at all! I totally get what that's like! You should see mine before I edit them. It must be my nit-picking tendency coming out that makes me read it 3 times before posting. Even then I miss stuff when I'm upset or in a hurry!

Best regards,

Kristin

[kenny66]

Hi Kristin

I had discussed this issue in detail quite recently so wih na couple of other schizophrenics and I wanted to post a bit of a blurb about it.

In my case "stream of consciousness" is a style of writing that arises from schizophrenia with the forward motion of ideas and thought processes converted to text as they happen and all that. I am sure many schizophrenics write this way.

Its actually not by choice but is hardwired in as I think Jake said in a discussion recently. As you know this is characterised by lack of punctuation and sometimes syntax and thought processes which might be illogical to the casual observer.

I used to be sensitive about this way of written communication as in the past it was often used to substantiate a diagnosis of a person as "mental" in a derogatory sense.

It wasn't until I read the essay about this by William James, late nineteenth century, that I understood that it was another way of communicating albeit, unusually. A number of American and English writers took up the style intentionally,as in the case of Virginia Wolf etc.

Now I consider it a part of my identity and an addition to the creativity which has been enhanced by my MI.

It is not possible in this style to write with page breaks and paragraphs, as it is with others, because the thought processes don't allow for interruption.

Stopping to edit ruins the flow and then the "spell"of the experience of writing and communicating the "now experience is lost. The whole process allows the reader to briefly glimpse the thoughts and ideas occurring at that point in time, and that point in time only.

Anyway I have talked my flatmate into editing posts for me because once it is written, it is written, the thoughts are gone and I never return to it.

Interestingly, apart from the enormous frustration, from the lecturers when I was doing creative writing at the uni, it was considered an acceptable and unique style of writing.

I am glad you mentioned the term. I hope someone finds the info of interest

Kenny

[kristin]

Hi Kenny,

Thanks so much for sharing all that and helping us (me) understand a bit better. Don't feel like you have to edit it - it just makes it easier to read and digest. I do kind-of get the stream of consciouness thing, because I often write poetry out of that space. It's hard for me to turn of or ignore my internal editor though. But you're right, quite necessary in order to be able to write in that way.

The main reason why I raised it was because I'd read enough of your posts to find them really interesting and worthwhile, but I find huge blocks of text rather confronting. I started finding myself baulking at reading your posts when feeling a bit pressed for time, I didn't want to miss out, nor for others to potentially be put off by a block post. You have shared many interesting things, and there's a crackling passion to your writing too. I wouldn't want to pull the teeth out of it, so I'm sorry I mentioned it.

Best regards,

Kristin

[kenny66]

Hi Kristin

I am really glad you mentioned it and raised the topic. I understand totally about block text being off putting and confronting for people. It drives my flatmate crazy/ier, and he is a paranoid schizophrenic, There's got to be a message in that!!!!!!! So that's why he willingly took on the job of editor.

Anyway I wanted an opportunity to write about the positive aspects of being a schizophrenic, and there are some, for me anyway. One of them is that style of writing. So you have given me the perfect entry point on that. I hope that becomes an interesting topic for the forum.

All the best

Kenny

[Neb]

As a MH person, over the course of decades, the public health system was unspeakable...all really horrible association with it, a criminal was better treated, because of my vulnerability I suspect.The private system was the better system, but still a lot of custodial mentality, changing but ...

The vulnerable and chronically ill are at the bottom of the heap, because of the lack of political will, the stigma associated with such people.

Still better than in say India, where a madman was collared like a dog and there was a leash, on the bus most of the other passengers gave him a kick as he went by. His custodian did nothing!

[kato]

Umm so yeah new here diagnosed 6 years ago as bi polar. I suffered as they called it a psychotic break from reality with severe anxiety depression and paranoia... was alot of fun trialling heaps of different med combos after 4 years I decided to wean off all meds I was feeling okayish.
The next 2 years unmedicated and dropping away from counsellers were in my mind good..... I jave just come to realise now that I have lost my job and my mood spikes are so noticeable that I was disillusioned. I went to my gp wanting to find a psychiatrist to hopefully get a proper diagnosis and treatment but I can't find any psychiatrist s. I dont want to go to a hospital. I have irrational fears of them lol.... but trying to find one close to home is making me feel worse and worse does anyone know good psychiatrists in the south east suburbs og Melbourne vic? Help would be greatly appreciated I don't want to call and speak to lifeline I tried the online chats but they don't operate until later and I am having a manic phase not severe not scary but enough for me to want to find something quickly I am safe and well just looking for some help with finding a good psychiatrist
Thanks

[kato]

Why

Never mind f u sane.org shit would have loved being able to communicate but no no help at all

[NikNik]

Hey Kato,

I just responded to your other thread, so I hope that has been helpful.

The safety of the forum members is our highest priority. This means that all posts have an eye scanned over them. From 5pm - 10pm AEST the forums have a moderator online and it's our busiest time. We try and make this clear when a comment is posted.

As our forums are very new (though they may not seem like it - there are a lot of posts!) we are still building and growing and hope that we can have longer hours. 

Many apologies that you found this frustrating. The forums aren't a crisis support service, but rather a place that people with similar experiences can connect.

I hope you continue posting because I know alot of members have similar experiences.

NikNik

[kato]

Apologies for my ridiculous over reaction not seeking crisis help just very annoyed with victorias mental health search capabilities online.... are so ridiculously ignorant of giving a clear and concise idea of where other then handing myself in at a hospital, that I can get information on psychiatrists near me. It is fantastic to get a first initial and last name and rough location of someone who could be jot even registered, or accredited right.
Again apologies I was taking my frustration out here, I didn't realize and in my short sighted ness couldn't find anything here regarding comments being held/ for several hours until a mod looks it over

[NikNik]

No worries Kato.

I'm really glad you've come back to the forums.

I responded to your original post, which you can find here

Welcome again & I hope to "see" you around the forums.