Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[oddity]

My son is so smart. He was dux of his school, handsome and funny.  He started drugs at 18 first pot then heroin and ice for many years, I have seen him at police stations, rehabs, alley ways, under boats, living in filth and much more.  

He is now 39 years old. He lives in another state with an uncle who is enabling him.

I dont know what his drug of choice is these days?  He has lost his entire family except for me. He has lost his 7 year old son and parnter recently due to manipulation, isolation and violence.He will phone me and  tell my he has MS, Ramsey Hunt Syndrome,  auto immune,his brain is dripping into his spine, and can only smell ornages and fish due to the toxins in the world.

IF I say "darling what hospital did you go to, or what dr" He screams and rants at tme " If you ask me anther question again  <swearing here> I will disappear for ever". HLEP

[Loopy]

You are never TOO old. I may take a while to  take all of the information in. but so what. I speak from experiance.

[suzanne]

Hello @oddity, welcome to the Forums.  It's so sad to read of the transformation in your son due to addiction.  Certainly at 39 there is no reason to think that he can't recover and regain some of the things he has lost.  But of course he needs to decide that this is the path he's going to take.  It doesn't sound like he's open to any influence from you so this is going to need to come from somewhere else.  Sometimes it's simply that life has become so unsustainably difficult that seeking help is the only option.    

The question is how are you going to cope until this happens?  Do you have good support from family and friends?  Do you feel that counselling might help?  I know that you were reaching out in relation to your son but it's hard not to consider how this situation must be affecting you.

We had a conversation a while back about caring for someone who struggles with drugs that you might find useful.  You can find it here.  You're certainly not alone and on page 6 you can find some links to organisations that may be able to support you. 

[BeHappy]

I don't think you can ever be too old for help.

But I think people can be shut down from allowing others to help. 

Sometimes our idea of help can differ to what other people perceive as help so it might help asking your son what he thinks is help.

[Former-Member]

Hi @oddity
Welcome to the forums. I dont think your ever too old to get help. I find it amazing everytime someone does get help and to make a better life for themselves no matter what age they are ❤❤

[ivana]

Hi Oddity,

 Sorry for the situation with your son.

 What has his experience being like with doctors in the past? 

One possibility for your son reacting this way could be that he has had a negative experience/s with doctors previously or perhaps it could be that he doesn't feel that you believe him about his symptoms.

 Unfortunately, long-term drug addiction can increase the risk of getting certain diseases more due to malnutrition,poor hygiene and weight loss etc..

His  lack of ability to smell most things is,in my view,more likely to be caused by the drug addiction then due to toxins in the world.

The cause could be anything from nasal inflammation to death of olfactory receptor neurons if he is snorting drugs.

Some people have lack of the ability to smell things due to damage in the Temporal lobes themselves.

Has your son ever expressed that he wants to get off the drugs?

http://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/drug-addiction/effects-of-drug-addiction-physical-and-psychol...

[oddity]

Thanks for your response

Content/trigger warning

[oddity]

Thank you

[oddity]

I just pray one day he will recognize he has an issue and will get some help.

[Former-Member]

hello @oddity

I feel for you so much. You love your son so much.

He has for whatever reasons taken a wrong turn and continues to possibly with addiction go down that path.

Yet you know that your real son is still there, behind the illness,  behind the effect of the drugs.

absolutely heartbreaking.

my older son is the one diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and who also due to his increasing paranoia that people are out to take his life does not divulge his whereabouts or contact details.

my younger son sent me a text message about an hour ago that his older brother is sending him message after message that people are trying to take away his life. I rang my younger son straight away, consoled him about how awful to be receiving that stuff and reiterated that it is the illness talking. His response "I know mum but they are so long and some of the stuff that he has said in them" So I told him his only choice, to look after his own health is not to read them anymore just delete them. I also said talk about nature if he rings. He replied he doesn't want to talk to him. This I understand.

So we are back to wondering when he will be picked up for being unwell and detained in the state he is in.

The whole thing is such a nightmare and families are put through so much.

Please know that I hear you and keep writing on here so that you can vent. I do hope that you are receiving counselling through Mental Carers Australia or somewhere.

I shall look out for your posts.

If anything if we can form a support group on here it will help share some of the load. Some of us will have helpful suggestions for others. We can all hold each other up as we pray that our loved ones receive the utmost care and help that they deserve.

take care