Lived Experience Forum

[utopia]

20 minutes!  That's all the psychiatrist gave me.  That's all it took.  20 bloody minutes that will determine what happens next in my life. 20 bloody minutes to determine if what happened to me in the past 5 years,  is serious or not. 

We weren't allowed to talk about the past.  AT ALL!  

he only wanted to hear about the last month.  That's all I was allowed to talk about. 

How is that meant to determine my incapacity percentage?  

So if they determine I'm relatively stable in my depression, then they will determine me a low percentage and disregard the past 5 years. 

20 bloody minutes!!!!!! 

I wish I could cry.  Think I would feel better after a cry.  But I just physically can't cry. 

I hate this so called life.  I am over it. 

20 lousy f***ing minutes!!!! 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wow @utopia .  

I dont have words ..... 😳😦😭😔🥵😡🤬

Higs and hugs and hugs and hugs ......

💜💐

[BryanaCamp]

I can hear you frustration @utopia , sorry the appointment was so brief.

When do you hear the results?

[Zoe7]

I am so sorry @utopia that it was so short and he did not look at your history and the effects of the last years on you. It is so unfair that you are going through this and yet again the system is seemingly against you. You deserve help and support and that is quite evidently not what you are receiving. 

On a side note - I have had the considerable pleasure of getting to know you through all the ups and downs. We have shared some laughs (a lot of laughs) as well as those real lows. We connected so much on so many different levels and your friendship and support at my very worst helped to sustain me in those times. Without you around encouraging me, supporting me and holding me up when I could not do that myself I would not be here in the position I am now - please do not underestimate the massive effect you have had on me and my life. I love that I have got to know you over the past few years and despite you taking a back seat on here of late I want you to know that you are still very much a valued member of this forum and I hope you receive the support through all these current issues that you deserve. Love you my beautiful cocky friend - very much 

[utopia]

@Zoe7 @BryanaCamp @Faith-and-Hope 

Well I finally got home from Melbourne.  Don't remember much of the drive home. 

I just rang WorkCover,  because I'm thinking maybe today's psychiatrist will just write a report on how I've been feeling this past month and then maybe a psychiatrist that works at WorkCover figures out the percentage of impairment. 

But no such luck. 

I told my WorkCover case manager,  how I was only there for 20 minutes and only allowed to answer direct questions relating to the past month.  So how is this psychiatrist meant to assess my last 5 years based on that. 

She said he has all previous assessment reports and letters from my last psychologist and my psychiatrist and my gp.  And that with today's assessment,  he will be able to work out my incapacity percentage. 

That's just bull. 

The psychologist did ask me at the end,  if I had any questions,  but I was like a deer in the headlights.  Just dumb.  Brain empty.  So I didn't say anything. 

Now I can't remember what was said.  So it's going round in my mind that I should have said this and I should have said that.  But really,  he asked questions and I had to answer those. 

I was monotone and couldn't express what I wanted to.  I couldn't cry,  even though I really needed to. 

I think I stuffed up. 

And now I have to wait for a whole month for his report to come in. 

I don't know what I'm meant to do now.  I don't want to do anything.  I want to sleep for the whole month and not think at all. 

And in the meantime I'm meant to apply for 6 jobs (that don't exist)  this month,  or CentreLink stops my pension. 

My brain is sore.  My brain is heavy. 

I'm just over it all. 

And I'm meant to stick around for another 1 and a half years until my son finishes high school. Think it will be hard to stick around for a week. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Here with you @utopia, and hearing how much it sucks.

I still don’t have words.

[BlueBay]

Oh no @utopia  thsts terrible thst you only got 20 mins. And to only answer questions relating to the past month and not 5 years is so ridiculous. I can’t understand. Whst about the past 5 years??

Feel for you 

love snd hugs ❤️❤️

[Tortoiseshell]

Hi @utopia, 

That workcover interview sound like it was overwhelming to say the least. I'm really sorry you're going through this tough time. 

I understand if what you are needing right now is forum support, but as you mentioned feeling like it will be hard to stick around for a week, I would like to send you an email to check in as well. Please keep an eye on your inbox. 

Take care,

Tortoiseshell 

[Zoe7]

It would be feeling like that right now @utopia I fully understand that feeling today. It is not right you need to wait a month for the results and even worse that you need to apply for jobs that just are not there to cover your centreling commitments. None of that is right - you are not well and should not be exposed to any of this 

[BryanaCamp]

hi @utopia think positive, you're a bright spark, a determined woman who has suffered much in recent times with mental illness & that will have come across in your assessment. They are trained in picking up distress & dysfunction and you will have communicated that to them. You did a good job today, don't doubt yourself or beat yourself up about it, you did good.

I'm sorry it's a month's wait, that's a long, long time to be in limbo. I hope you'll be here on the forum to be supported by all of us who care for your here during that month.

Yep, it's hard to apply for jobs. I've been doing it all this year, 2019. Writing job applications to sell myself and even going to a few job interviews where I have to muster the energy to perform well & be enthusiastic & sell myself in person to an interview panel when all I feel is depression & futility & fatigue. I know how hard it is, believe me. You can do this. If I can do it, you can do it.

Hang in there @utopia , today was a big day and now you're back home and you just have to continue on, one day at a time, doing what you have to do. I know how hard it is, I am struggling with my mental health issues, family tension and unemployment stress every day.

Sitting with you at this hard time, hoping you have at least a little comfort in knowing the forum is sitting with you