Lived Experience Forum

[LSeven]

People always say they understand, but in truth they can never understand our unique experiences. I believe, we can only sympathise and support said experiences.

i feel for those people that don't have a support mechanism, or just someone to talk too about life's struggles. 

Mind you, it can be hard to open up to loved ones. 

[SparkyR]

Its been a bumpy year indeed and I really hear you on that one. Its tough living with c-PTSD but there is hope for recovery and making improvement is a really positive step so great work and well done you. As far as connection with others goes i found that my greatest improvements (other than having a therapist that specialises in PTSD) came from joining a PTSD group on facebook and finding a group of people that new and understood both me and what it is to live with this...we spoke the same kind of language, went through the same kind of issues and were there to support each other ..and there was someone there pretty much day or night. not sure if it would be of use to you but might be worth a try. I hope 2017 is a little more gentle on you and that you continue to improve.. Sparky 🙂

[debbie1972]

Omg i read this and had to join this forum . Feels like my life

[debbie1972]

I read zoe7 s post and that is my life . im sinking more than swimming .I dont know who i am or why im even alive feeling the way i do . I dont want anyone in my life other than my daughter , i trust noone . When i have trusted ive been used and abused. The latest was put on a revenge porn site/forum and for 2 1/2 years had men harrassing me and stalking me from these sites. This is the downfall of me not wanting to connect in person n using the internet dating sites as an easier option. I strongly suggest to everyone not to do that as now i live in a refuge because it feels like the safest option i have to keep these predators away from me . It feels like anyone ive let in has just damaged me more . So im not going to let anyone have that opportunity anymore .I wander around in severe emotional pain n disasociation, my years seems to fly by and im just hoping they can go by a lot quicker so this will just end soon n i dont know what day it is even if i plan something it wont happen because ill forget im so lost and caught up in my head with my trauma and due to having my whole life been put on those sites i feel i cant look anyone in the face just incase they know .NO one understands me and to be honest who could blame them . I ve gone from counsellor to counsellor n nothing changes its like im in the too hard basket .i also have chronic pain from 2 damaged discs that has been going on 7 yrs now from my old job as a carer that workers comp wont pay for my operation i need . I feel i have had to fight for every right in my life and that i dont have any fight left in me. The spark for life just isnt there anymore and i cant fake it anymore either .My daughters only 23 and her and my cats are the only reason im still here . I lost my mum when i was in my early 30s i believe my dad let her die and ill never get over that and i dont want to cause my daughter the pain of losing her mum so young . So all i can do is try and hang on for as long as i can .Writing this is making me cry and although its so painful to be brutally honest letting this out seems to be the only thing that brings me relief. But it seems i try and hold on to these emotions as long as i can to avoid feeling more intense pain . I need to find another counsellor one that can actually help me .

[Gypsy7]

I suffer ptsd complex and recently like Friday got triggered by my ex again. Sometimes the symptoms have been unbearable but my new med ok just need it lowered I think I'm bipolar too. I live with a man who also suffered trauma and it's helped me our friendship. Just friends cos both of us are still recovering and healing. I was going to do exposure treTment but I'm not for that anymore. Spode to desensitise me from triggers etc something I only had one visit and then she went on holidays so 22 Nd is my next and boy she'll be in for a hard job. I'm willing but ATM it would unstable me more. Ptsd makes me jerk when flashes come. My housemate gets it too. It's a bit embarrassing. Anyway hope you all get peace from your past in. Moments sending good energy your way.

[TiredMom]

Zoe7... that's exactly what it feels like for me!

[Ayisha]

I am a new member to this forum.  I have had CPTSD since I was six years old. But only officially diagnosed at age 55. I am now 58. Anger, Addiction, Distorted Thinking and Low Self-esteem have had a massive impact on my whole life. Three years on I still struggle with the fact that my persona is not my own.  I have grieved for a life that I never got to live. Because of the symptoms of CPTSD  I have destroyed relationships with family and friends. And despite the consequences I will not refrain as I cannot help what I do or say.

How are you?

Ayisha

[petlover]

Hi Ayisha, 

I am much younger, only 18 years old, but have also been suffering from complex PTSD for many years of my life and resultantly severe anxiety. I am currently in a mental health facility and I am so severe i have panic attacks when around any people apart from my immediate family. I have a dog and rely on him for support but he is not allowed to visit my in hospital. I have been abused by too many people to trust anyone but my mum. Its a depressing, and anxious life to live... 

How are you?