Hi, I'm a 36 year old female with a diagnosis of CPTSD and ADHD and I live with my partner who has a diagnosis of Schizophrenia and autism. I have been living with my partner for two years now. After spending 6 months unemployed, my partner has been working full time night shift for the past two months. Communication with him was always difficult as he doesn't say very much at all and always seems to be in his own world. I have been a full time student for the past 3 months, after leaving a job that became too physically demanding with all of my co-curring autoimmune ailments and have been very lonely at home. I have my 6 year old daughter on the weekend and am spoiled with lots of hugs and interactions, but apart from that I am home alone while my partner sleeps. Lately, I have been consumed with thoughts of a better life somewhere away from my current home, where I could be free to make noise and speak with whomever I was living with. I feel very guilty for having these thoughts, as I do love my partner dearly and understand that he has a very blunted communication style. I just feel as though I don't really matter to him though, as I never get any appreciation for all the things I do to keep the house going, including paying for more than half of my way despite not having an income other than JobSeeker payments at the moment. When I speak, I really am not sure if he is listening and he doesn't seem interested in most of what I have to say. We have not been intimate for over 5 months and I feel really disconnected from him, which is filling me with sadness. I feel like I need validation that my concerns are reasonable and I just want someone to talk to who actually cares about what I have to say.
