Lived Experience Forum

[Adge]

This National Broadband Network (NBN) Thing is bewildering.

There was nothing wrong with my Telephone line & ADSL Broadband (Internet) as it was.

I didn't want or need to change anything.

I received a Letter from phone company.

Letter said that my phone & Broadband (internet) would be disconnected - completely cancelled & cut off.

I am not allowed to keep it as it is.

Letter said that I am forced to apply for & switch to NBN - to keep any phone & internet connection (otherwise it will be cut off).

That was very triggering - I felt totally overwhelmed & victimised by that.

Where is free choice (& options)? - There were no options, except which Service Provider to use for NBN.

So I've dealt with (done) it, didn't want to have to.

Hopefully I can get my phone & Internet working, when they install that NBN in a few weeks.

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[Adge]

Hi everyone.

Being unemployed (having lost my job) is actually hitting harder –

-than the months of restrictions, shut-downs, & being forced to take Annual Leave (from work).

I feel more isolated now, than I did during that time (then) - it's really getting to me (down).

I keep on pushing myself to do & achieve things – yet fall flat & don’t feel I’ve got very far (or achieved much).

All I really want/ need is good company (at home), & friendly voices around me – there are none.

Well, except my Birds & Cat – they’re friendly, yet not human company.

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[Former-Member]

I can't deal with this anymore. The constant fear that something is happening between them, when it goes silent upstairs when I am downstairs in my paint room. He said he has a different idea of how to workout our marriage issues because he now understands my DID and C-PTSD better thanks to Nat and knows why things happened they way they did for us. But I think they have destroyed the trust I can't be second guessing for the rest of my life. How do you move forward when no one will talk about that issue, but does it really matter if there is no trust on that level? My self opinion is really low anyway but let's add to it, I must not be enough, I am certainly not as light as she is nor am I as young. I don't have passion like she does, I don't have my future planned out like she does, I don't have an investment portfolio like she does and I certainly don't wear anything like she does.  If there was a way to know for sure it would make it easier I am sure, right now I just want to leave this world. My MH has finally taken everything and everyone from me, my white flag is on the ground beside me because I don't have strength to raise it. 

PLEASE, PLEASE DONT MENTION THIS AMYWHERE ELSE ON THE FOURM. 

[Jupiter]

@Former-Member I know you are not looking for a response as you have posted in the worry room thread, however I do feel concerned about you today from the content of this post and as you have mentioned wanting to leave this world. I would like to follow up with you via email so please keep an eye on your inbox. Take care of yourself today...

[MDT]

I'm sick of feeling sad or alone or both

[outlander]

Its sad that im not able to take  credit for the biggest pride and joy i have ever had. My biggest accomplishment. The thing that held me together for years and what kept me going. Its always turned around to make out my mother is the hero. Even now when im trying to win it back and will be paying for it myself its not going to be mine, its going to be my sisters.  Makes me angry frustrated but mostly sad.

[greenpea]

Okay I could have epilepsy .... might just be a moment of amnesia have to wait and see for results in a few weeks. At hospital all the staff mentioned my shaky hand it is getting worse. Thing is if I go off my meds or meddle with them then I could go mad again. If I change them is stressful if leave them as is I dont know if I can drive as shakiness is so bad. Might have to add another medication into the mix plus have put on heaps of weight am sick and tired of everything. Just getting by want to go off meds all togther and be like I was before the madness hit .... maybe the doctors all made a mistake and I wasnt mad at all..... maybe just a dream ... idk. Maybe not a dream but a nightmare ....

[Former-Member]

I really did lose everything yesterday. 

[Snowie]

I can feel the slide beginning. The sh and si thoughts are taking over again, my depression is becoming prevalent once more. I knew it was too good to be true that I was improving. It didn't last long. So now what? Am I always destined to be like this, was that as good as it gets.

I am afraid and scared of me, I don't like who I am becoming once more, but as hard as I try, I cannot stop the downward spiral that is happening. It takes too much effort and energy just to be me.

[Whitehawk]

Hi @Snowie 

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling afraid and on the slide Snowie. I am sure we are all wishing that you can turn things around and use your considerable self care and help seeking strengths to get the support you need. Will you be able to see a MH professional tomorrow?

If you are not safe today please reach out for support off the forums to the 24/7 Helplines:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue 1300 224 636

take care

Whitehawk