Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Determined]

Thank you @Eve7  for your kind words.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best in your journey of healing 🙏

[Determined]

Hi @David101 

Here is the thread I mentioned earlier.

There is a link on page 1 that goes back further in time when my darling was in hospital. 

[Sophie1]

@Determined  fascinating insight - "respect me please" .. seems like such an obvious and okay thing to ask - especially of our partners 

[Determined]

I agree @Sophie1  yet so hard 🤷‍♂️

And so poorly recieved. 

For me it is about coming to a place where I dont feel guilty for the request. 

We spent some time this afternoon  around language (as in passive / agressive / assertive) and how to best deliver that mesage.

[Determined]

Day out in the boat today with darling and the children. Yes darling joined us after previously staying she would not. Was a lovely relaxing day .

[Sophie1]

@Determined  Thankyou for sharing - what a wonderful scene ... enjoy every moment ... I am in lockdown and can't leave house 😒 so sitting around contemplating work , gardening , tidying , sorting and the treat of a walk around the park 🤦‍♀️Strange times ...  so I particularly enjoyed your pics of the ocean 🌊! 

[outlander]

wow how lovely @Determined

[Eve7]

Yay! So good for you all. 😊👍

@Determined 

[Determined]

I am really struggling at the moment.

After various functional assessment we received confirmation last week  that our youngest meets the criteria for an intellectual disability. 

Official verification is not until 6+ years old so another 2 to 3 years.    Darling seems to have settled after a week of 'fireworks' but I am just so sad.

We knew he was going to need some additional support but I was confident (aka head in sand  hopeful) that he was not that bad and with some additional support he would be ok.   Feeling so guilty, we were not going to have a third baby for this very reason but he was our little surprise. While such a blessing and I would not change him for the world, I worry more about how hard life will be for him.  And feeling guilty that I already struggle with S1 (also ID) and wonder how I can manage this also. Unfortunately it is up to me to manage a lot of supports, appointments etc as Darling just can not emotionally manage it.  + S2 and his emerging bpd traits. 😣😭

Have been reading an article @ darcy shared a while ago about stages of grief, seems I am cycling through most of them. Just when I think I am ok I sink again. 

Grateful though that so far he still has a sunny happy character. Hope he does not loose it like his older brother has.

[Sophie1]

@Determined  that is indeed an intense week and a heavy load 

your family Is lucky to have you 

I rung the Sane helpline for first time ever this week - they were amazing - I had to put my info in on the call back blue button area in website as the inbound call centre number isn't working this week - but they called back in an hour ish ... omg they were fantastic - kicking myself for not calling and using this service on the last 6years - could have really benefited 

if you feel overwhelmed or just need to process or vent your thoughts feelings please reach out to the helpline 

do you have enough supports in place for you ? Do you have a counsellor or psychologist just for you ?