Learning to accept this horrible thing is a nightmare. As bad as living with it. It means that I'm never going to be level. I can't hold down work very long (to date).
Right now my life feels pointless. I've been living in social housing for 12 months and still haven't settled enough to feel brace enough to handle managing relationships in a working environment.
Im not suicidal, but I'm not going to lie, I've been wondering if this is the only solution available to me if I can't find some stability eventually... I'm 35 for Pete's sake.
I'm not a drug taker anymore, illicit or otherwise. The chemicals in my head give me more than enough "entertainment".
Sorry for the rant, just feeling really helpless and to be honest, hopeless. This will pass. It is the beauty of bipolar. Nothing can be relied upon.
That is except for a government who won't accept that I'm incapacitated enough to need the dsp (which I'm ashamed of believe me) and would much rather I live in abject (1st world) poverty for the rest of my life with constant threat at the hand of job networks suspending my payment because they aren't qualified enough or just don't care or even worse than that, are malicious and want to harm the vunerable.
It's disgusting really. I feel utterly helpless.
Anyone been through something similar? Where did you get your light from? Thanks in advance ✌
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