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  • Author : Dec
  • support : 3
  • Topic : Our stories
Senior Contributor

Thanks @BlueBay 


I know you care but where is my mind today? Never mind - the anniversary is actually on Wednesday - but these days are hard - I have no idea what it is about an anniversary that makes it so difficult - and the events leading up to that day so long ago are imprinted in my brain


The 14th was the last day I saw him - and he was so angry - I think you would really understand better than anyone how he must have felt - I didn't think about abandonment issues then as I do now - of course I didn't leave him in the bush and the snow etc but he must have felt really desperate when I told him I couldn't take him home and that was because he had broken the law in a dramatic way.


And I saw my parents and their behaviour was egregious - I drove around the corner from their place and cried for a long time - I am glad I stopped to do that instead of driving - I had a car accident not far from their house and it wasn't my fault. As I write this a get it that I woke up feeling really bad this morning - it was more than just the weather and I am glad I wrote this because I had not thought of that yet today. These days are tough - and the first anniversary was the worst one


This is how I know that your writing here - sharing your feelings - it is an interactive journal because the rest of us can join in and give you feedback - more importantly you are letting your feelings out and not keeping them inside - not internalizing them - it's not healthy to keep things locked up inside ourselves


So after a long time when I didn't share that much about my thoughts on all of this which is the most important thing that happened to me - the thing that changed me the most and for the better - sharing them in this forum has been a real eye-opener for me - people in the forum do not run away from such truth - they aren't running away from me and they won't run away from you - they have so much stick-to-it-ivity as I could ever imagine


But yes - the day is dark and cold - this day in 1986 was cold but glorious - and how long ago that was - but time does pass and we learn as we go


Thanks BlueBayHeart



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