I am home and it is really cold and raining and I am very tired after yesterday's time at the airport - so glad I had a seat to sit on in Departures - no business class comfort there
There was really bad weather in Sydney and strong wind in the north and there were delays from Melbourne and therefore to Melbourne and Sydney and my taxi driver told me that he had been waiting for a fare at Melbourne Airport for a long time so it seems that there was a lot of problems with air traffic yesterday
So apart from when I got something to eat and thought to charge my computer but changed my mind it meant I didn't leave my seat and that was a good idea - there were a lot of people standing and waiting faor a long time - it was pretty chaotic but I am a seasoned-traveller by now
The flight back to Melbourne was a bit bumpy which aggravated my spine that was already sore from sitting for such a long time in a hard chair but we got back to Melbourne safe and I got home very late - my unit was as cold as a fridge so I grabbed a couple of snacks - turned both heaters onto high and got into bed - I fell asleep almost straight away - what a day - and we all got back safely which is the most important thing
Anyway - today I am tired and of course I do have my washing and I need to get a decent homemade meal ready - I am really glad I cancelled that appointment with the psychologist at the pain clinic - I do not need to go into the past again and stir everything up. I can talk about what happened so long ago but I don't want to nit-pick around in it - I guess I have examined everything and know I did my best and what more can anyone do?
I feel unhappy enough that that the anniversary is tomorrow - I could feel it all underneath my enjoyment of the Sunshine Coast - I can tell you now that I was at Novotel Twin Waters which is an incredible place to stay - really beautiful - and the weather was something I can only imagine today - it was so warm - I wish I had taken my shorts with me - but I hadn't.
Still under all that I could feel my natural sorrow - the truth that I could see how my son's unhappy life would end and although his pain and troubled mind has been at peace all these years it was not the end of everything - it is getting easier as the years pass but I still feel it - today - I really feel it
And I don't mind being alone with it - really used to that - it's okay - I will be okay - I will always be okay
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