Lived Experience Forum

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison mothers day can be hard. Are you okay? How did Ur crochet go?

Yes, I looked it up, therr was a show I was watching with a scene with a tiger, like they had one in the hangover movies. All I could think was is it real or cgi? It was real!

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison I don't know where this internal fear comes from of being expelled from the system

I feel it will be another humiliation

My cm has become really awful, my friend tried to speak on my behalf today and found it similar, she makes a lot of excuses and lectures us on how the health system works

She blamed me for not interacting well and she called me volatile because I started crying last time we met....

I spoke to my Dr and he said it sounds like she can't tell the difference between anger and distress.

It makes me sick that ppl try to say anything they like about ppl who are mentally unwell, thinking were easy targets 

[maddison]

Oh I know what you mean. The Tiger in hangover movie is incredible. @EternalFlower 

[maddison]

This sounds distressing re your case manager @EternalFlower 

It sounds really inappropriate & unhelpful for cm to label you as 'volatile.' I am so glad you have other supports in place. I would suggest that you start to keep records (write notes - if not already). At least you will have your own documentation to support your case if things escalate, or possibly you can try again in future to request new cw.

I don't know if this is helpful at all, only a suggestion - feel free to ignore🙂 What if you approached cw with following style

" what can I do, to make your job to support me, easier?"

It kind of flips the dynamic around & gives you back some power, whilst also emphasising that cw has duty to support you. 

We are still in same position with my friend and his cw. It's really difficult to initiate change. Right now we are pausing things. I need more information about the situation. My goal is to support him (he supports me too).

Thanks for asking if I was ok! I had good sleep last night & my house is little tidier - your comment that you tidied up pile of clothes was motivating🙂

I mopped, vaccumed, washing & dishes. Today is bin day, so I can empty the house of all the leftover food containers:face_with_rolling_eyes: 

Hope you have lovely day🦄💗

[maddison]

p.s @EternalFlower please don't take my advice wrong way. I believe you that cw may be bad egg.

[Scream58]

I've been fighting hard but really struggling to know what I am fighting for. 

I am in give up land tonight.

[tyme]

Hi there @Scream58 ,

I hear you. Sounds like such a difficult space to sit in.

What's happening for you today?

I'll send you a check-in email. Please know you are not alone.

Sitting with you,

tyme

[Scream58]

@tyme 

Sorry for being a pain.

I had a fall tonight, pretty much a daily occurrence since my stroke, but tonight I fell against the wood heater. Brushed my arm and shoulder enough to still be stinging now but the reality of how bad it could have been hit me like a ton of bricks.

• The what if: I had put my hand out to steady myself and burned it on the heater.
• I had hit my head and been unconscious against the heater

The fear becomes so real and insurmountable sometimes. The knowledge that I'm completely alone and there's nothing I can do about it is terrifying.

[tyme]

You are not a pain my dear @Scream58 ,

First and foremost, are you ok? Falls can be very nasty. And if you've been burnt, have you managed to put it under some running water?

It's a bit concerning that you regularly have falls. I live on my own, and I know how scary it is to be sick and alone at home. Have you seen you GP about these falls? Perhaps safeguards can be considered to minimise risk?

Please know you are not alone on the forums here. It was on these very forums that I learnt to reconnect with society after having isolated myself from the world for years.

Hugs @Scream58 . 

Please take care tonight, and if you feel the need, contact 000 if things get worse.

Kindest,

tyme

[Scream58]

@tyme 

I had a stroke in Dec 2021. It affected the area of my brain that conrols balance. 

I am very careful but sometimes it catches me off guard. Last night I was feeding the cat and next thing I was down. The burns aren't bad, just sting a bit. Luckily I just brushed against the heater.