Lived Experience Forum

[DD_]

Hello, just wantingot introduce myself and my situation and say hello really.

So I have been feeling really low for some time now, all of 2021 but have had epoisodes of feeling low in the past. Never diagnosed or medicated just cant get out of bed, or feeling of wanting to disappear or not be here anymore. 

This year has seen them crawl back. I think it was triggered initially by being evicted due to covid (people selling) in december and i had to move in with family as there is a rental crisis. Then I had to do jury duty for a child sexcrime for a week or two early in the year which wad a really stressful process, then I got out of a comfortable casual/pt job for a new ft opportunity i was really excited to take arnd march but it was a really anxiety inducing, toxic environment with no support and I couldnt handle it. So I managed to get out. 

I took a simple retail based job in an industry like and have done many many times in the past just to focus on doing something stress free that im good at and i found the owners to be hard to work with and really almost bullys. I couldnt believe this was happening again. Im in mylate 30s and have had really great jobs i like, and wonderful experiences till now inclding 9 years with one company, ididnt really understand toxic workplaces -- i put my head down and kept at it but was just told the other day iwont be kept on which was honestly a real shock. Maybe a blessing in diguise but a shock as I was quite confident and happy to just have that job. Now I feel totally worthless. unemployed, in temporary housing, no partner. It really feels like there is just no point right now and I cant see a way of moving forward.

I have tried going for walks on the beach weekly and picking up plastics, and I do alot of making/art -- but why, noone cares, it wont make enough change. 

Im not sure if it is just a 2021 omen as I havent felt this depressed since i was in my late teens and I wouldnt leave my bed for weeks. Just thought it might be nice to come on here and hear others stories and even help and respond where I can. Anything to feel like I have some purpose or use in the world.

This forum is a realy useful tool and i hope it has helped some people feel less alone..

[moxi]

Welcome to the forums, @DD_ 

It sounds like you've had a really tough run and it's great to see that you're still doing what you can to look after yourself right now like cleaning up at the beach, being creative and reaching out here. Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself 🙂 

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @DD_  ! It's good you've joined. 🙂

I'm sorry you're so depressed 😞 and that your work situations haven't worked out recently. Also that you were evicted - so sorry. 

Just want to let you know what you can do if your depression worsens or you want some professional help, someone to talk to. You can ask your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan, which entitles you to 10 (actually 20 during Covid) sessions per year with a psychologist. The sessions are subsidised by Medicare. 

But just be aware that it may take months to get in to actually see the psychologist, so don't leave it till you're desperate! A lot of psychologists aren't taking on new clients at the moment, and also those that are are in demand so you will probably have to wait months. 

(I know you didn't ask for this advice, and sorry if you already know all this!)

I also want to encourage you - picking up even just one pieceof plastic on the beach does make a change - it may save one marine life. Plus you are setting a fine example for anyone that sees you, and raising awareness just by your actions. I'm impressed. 

Wishing you good wishes.

[Oaktree]

Welcome to the forums @DD_ 

So sorry about your work and rent situations. 
I hope that things pick up for you soon.

Meggle

[LostAngel]

thank you for sharing your story @DD_ hope you find some support here on the forums ,it sounds like a good idea to go for walks on the beach each week,your not alone with issues of depression as Im sure many of us on here can relate to that type of feeling,please take care and keep doing things that help you feel better 

[frog]

Hi @DD_ welcome to the forum. I'm glad you made your way here.

You have been dealing with some really hard stuff. I have experienced a lot of depression in my life, since 15, and what you're going through would really knock anyone around. I hope you find people here to connect with. I find it helpful just to chat with people who just get it and show compassion. There are a lot of them here! Take care.

[DD_]

Thanks you for the information and advice, Ive considered this but put it off due to not having a 'doctor' as such that trust. Lucky I have friends that have been very supportive and through many struggles and happy to talk but just very aware they have their own things and no-one wants to be a mope or a burden -- sometimes people here you dont know can be better to check in with when you're low..

[DD_]

Thanks, trying to check in with my feelings and senses. Why the things that make you feel better even briefly do-- like sea air or a good coffee to start the day. These little pleasures and routines can be good 'distractions' for want of better word in low times.